PMPS

Yesterday while my husband and I were up at University Hospital, my parents took care of the kids, which is, I think, part of the everyone-turning-over-a-new-leaf plan. After we got home, my mom brought the kids back and I tried to give her as much detail as I could about the consultation - again, part of the everyone-turning-over-a-new-leaf plan. Apparently all of the ovary stuff was news to my mom because we had previously never gotten past her hangup with radiation. Egad. After I filled her in, she mentioned that she had just read an article in the New York Times, and of course I braced myself. However, she went on to say that the article mentioned that many women were completely unprepared for the pain involved in breast surgery, and that even the surgeons themselves didn't realize how much pain it caused.

After she left, I looked up the article, When Pain Persists After Breast Cancer Surgery, and it is actually very interesting considering my post from a few days ago, in which I discussed how unprepared I was for how painful the lumpectomy was going to be. The article mainly focuses on postmastectomy pain syndrome (PMPS), which is actually very common, and yet, in many cases, is not even discussed ahead of time. According to the article: 'Not all breast and reconstructive surgeons are aware of the extent of PMPS, which may explain why many do not mention it to their patients as a possible complication of surgery.' Additionally: '... it can also affect women who have had a lumpectomy, in which only the tumor and a small amount of surrounding tissue are removed. A study published in 2012 in the journal Breast indicated that women who had had axillary lymph node dissection — removal of some or all of the lymph nodes adjacent to the cancerous breast — were at particular risk.'

So I'm not crazy. Okay, so maybe I am, LOL, but at least I know this pain is very real. I am not trying to freak anyone out about lumpectomy, I just think it would have been helpful to have a better idea of what to expect. Dr. L did say that the surgery would 'irritate' the nerves and cause pain, but I really don't feel like 'nerve irritation' quite captures it. For the past two weeks, I've been wondering WTF is wrong with me and figuring I must be the Wimpiest Woman Ever, because I still can't easily lift my arm over my head. But apparently this is actually pretty common. Not that that's a good thing, because I would not wish this pain on anyone (okay, so maybe I can think of a few people, haha), but it is comforting to know that not only is the pain normal, but that being completely unprepared for the pain is also normal.

I've been reading the message board on breastcancer.org, and I am surprised by how many women had mastectomies for early-stage, node-negative cancer, when I never seriously considered a mastectomy. This wasn't even really based on anything emotional about my breasts, it just seemed like a mastectomy was sort of excessive for a little old lump. And my surgeon presented lumpectomy to me as the most logical choice. Then again, this is coming from someone who took 15 years to have torn cartilage in her hip fixed, so I'm probably more surgery-averse than average. And, of course, maybe I made a naive choice, considering I now need another surgery, after which, like, a third of my breast will be gone anyway. Regardless, I find myself praying for clean margins with this next surgery, because I know if they are not, the next logical step is a mastectomy. And that really doesn't sound fun.