It truly is a happy Friday, and I'm so grateful for that. I feel really good right now, better than I have in a long time. In fact, I just walked home from my parents' house - three blocks - with virtually no pain and no limp.
This is after a very up and down week. On Tuesday, I was extremely sore and in so much pain after a full day of work. My hip flexors in both hips were so tight, I could barely do anything at PT, so my therapist had me do some stretching and then did some massage. He had me dangle my leg off the side of the table to stretch while he was massaging my hip, which was extremely uncomfortable, but seemed to help a lot. After that, we tried electrical stimulation with heat, which seemed to release some of the tightness. I also spoke with my orthopedist's medical assistant about a pain medication that I could take that would not make me bleed, but that was also not a narcotic. She suggested that I start taking the diclofenac again. I had stopped because my post-op instructions were to take it for four weeks after surgery, which I did. However, I felt like it might be making me feel sort of crappy, and I am positive it gave me GI distress, so I stopped as soon as the instructions said I could. But on Tuesday, I was feeling sort of desperate, so I resumed. And... I definitely had GI distress on Wednesday and Thursday. Maybe it was just coincidence, but maybe not. Ugh. I have had such horrible stomachaches all week that I decided not to take it today. I remember when I first started taking it after surgery, it caused GI distress that went away after about a week, but at this point I just can't put up with that. Hip pain is easier for me to deal with than abdominal pain.
PT and a day of rest on Tuesday were very helpful, and I actually felt pretty good on Wednesday, which was another full day of work for me. I felt even better on Thursday, which was encouraging since it was after a tiring day. Compared to Tuesday, I was a whole world better on Thursday. Unfortunately, Thursday was the height of my GI distress, and although my hips and leg felt good, I was extremely nauseous throughout PT. I sort of mentioned it to my therapist, but I really didn't dwell on it just because I feel like I've been Ms. Gloom and Doom, and I hate that this is the only side of me he has ever seen. I just don't feel like that's me, and I feel like I need to be better than this, especially as I'm reaching the final stage of my rehab. So I tried to focus on how much better my hips felt. Despite my horrid stomachache, I gritted my way through a very full PT session - bike, weights, walking, marching, stretching, stretching and massage, electrical stim... I feel sort of bad because when my therapist was trying to talk to me before I left, I seriously thought I was going to throw up, so I was barely responding to any of what he said. After I got home, I lay down for an hour to let my stomach calm down, and when my stomach pain subsided, I realized that my hip felt awesome.
And today, my hips feel even better. Am I over the 'hump'? Of course, there is still the blood clot, and while my leg is still very swollen, the pain has decreased in my leg as well. There are still some motions that hurt my hip quite a bit that are slightly worrisome, given that the pain is the same sort of pain I had before the surgery, but I am trying not to think about those right now. A very hopeful thing I noticed today is that when I stand up after sitting for a while, my hip doesn't hurt the way that it used to. Before the surgery, one of the hardest things was going from sitting to standing (which I do a lot). After sitting for just 10 minutes or so, I would have to stretch for a good 2-3 minutes before I could even walk at all. Now, sort of by habit, whenever I stand up after sitting, I immediately start to stretch. But I realized today that's not necessary anymore. I do feel a little stiff still, but it's nothing like it was before. So... progress?
Also, it has been three weeks since the blood clot was diagnosed and I started taking Xarelto. This means that I get to move from taking 15 mg twice a day to 20 mg once a day, which is really nice, because I'm not good at remembering to take medication, and it was hard for me to remember to take the second dose at night. I have to hold onto the hope that the decreased pain in my leg means that the medication is working.
Happy Friday, and I hope you all have a great Labor Day weekend. :)
Friday, August 29, 2014
Monday, August 25, 2014
Back to Work! (7 Weeks)
I will start off on a positive note by saying that I had a good day, I really did. It felt good to finally get back to teaching after all the anticipation. I usually feel excited, in a jittery sort of way, at the beginning of the semester. But my students are fresh and full of excitement, and I usually draw energy from them. (It usually goes downhill after this, lol.) Due to my medical issues, I hadn't been feeling my normal level of excitement, but it all came back today as soon as I started my first class. That was a good feeling.
That said, I am in a world of pain right now. Both my hips are exceedingly sore, my leg is killing me, and I ohmygod I am so exhausted. Admittedly, part of this is because I barely slept last night. Also, yesterday I got overzealous and spent an hour picking beans. My husband and kids picked some during my long inability to garden, but overall they did a pretty poor job ( = A LOT of beans to be picked). And since I can't squat down, I had to do it by just bending over at the hip, which means my hamstrings are really sore today. It's a totally regular type of sore, but nonetheless, it is adding to my misery. Honestly, even in the absence of a blood clot, there is no way I could have taught my week-long class starting ten days ago. I don't know what my surgeon was thinking. Perhaps I'm just super far behind where I'm supposed to be rehab-wise, but my PT keeps saying how well I'm doing functionally, so I don't feel like that's the case.
Anyway. I've been determined to totally ditch the crutches and the cane, even when I have to walk a lot or long distances. This has been reeeallly difficult and I'm limping, a lot. Fortunately, my reduced load means that I have tomorrow off to rest, which I really need. If I had to teach tomorrow, I'd need a crutch for sure, at least to get to the building across campus where I was scheduled to teach. While hopefully my situation will improve from here on out, I don't feel like I'm completely out of crutch territory yet, unfortunately. As trivial as it may be in the large scheme of things, I'm really self-conscious about this. So... I was just really up front with my students about my situation, and it came up sort of naturally because I let them know I was on partial leave for the semester, so they would understand why I'm not going to be on campus two days a week. I didn't tell them about the blood clot - that seems like TMI - I just said I had had hip surgery over the summer and the recovery hadn't gone quite as planned. As a result, walking is still a little difficult for me, as is standing, and sitting. Which makes life slightly difficult in general. LOL. (They thought it was funny.) It was sort of hard, as I don't usually share personal information of this sort, but it felt good to just put it all out there. That way at least if I have a really bad day and just can't walk, it won't seem out of the blue.
All in all, it was a good day, emotionally anyway. Physically, I feel like hell, but at least the pain comes with a sense of accomplishment, which makes it easier for me to accept. And on that note, I am off to take a pain pill and go to bed.
That said, I am in a world of pain right now. Both my hips are exceedingly sore, my leg is killing me, and I ohmygod I am so exhausted. Admittedly, part of this is because I barely slept last night. Also, yesterday I got overzealous and spent an hour picking beans. My husband and kids picked some during my long inability to garden, but overall they did a pretty poor job ( = A LOT of beans to be picked). And since I can't squat down, I had to do it by just bending over at the hip, which means my hamstrings are really sore today. It's a totally regular type of sore, but nonetheless, it is adding to my misery. Honestly, even in the absence of a blood clot, there is no way I could have taught my week-long class starting ten days ago. I don't know what my surgeon was thinking. Perhaps I'm just super far behind where I'm supposed to be rehab-wise, but my PT keeps saying how well I'm doing functionally, so I don't feel like that's the case.
Anyway. I've been determined to totally ditch the crutches and the cane, even when I have to walk a lot or long distances. This has been reeeallly difficult and I'm limping, a lot. Fortunately, my reduced load means that I have tomorrow off to rest, which I really need. If I had to teach tomorrow, I'd need a crutch for sure, at least to get to the building across campus where I was scheduled to teach. While hopefully my situation will improve from here on out, I don't feel like I'm completely out of crutch territory yet, unfortunately. As trivial as it may be in the large scheme of things, I'm really self-conscious about this. So... I was just really up front with my students about my situation, and it came up sort of naturally because I let them know I was on partial leave for the semester, so they would understand why I'm not going to be on campus two days a week. I didn't tell them about the blood clot - that seems like TMI - I just said I had had hip surgery over the summer and the recovery hadn't gone quite as planned. As a result, walking is still a little difficult for me, as is standing, and sitting. Which makes life slightly difficult in general. LOL. (They thought it was funny.) It was sort of hard, as I don't usually share personal information of this sort, but it felt good to just put it all out there. That way at least if I have a really bad day and just can't walk, it won't seem out of the blue.
All in all, it was a good day, emotionally anyway. Physically, I feel like hell, but at least the pain comes with a sense of accomplishment, which makes it easier for me to accept. And on that note, I am off to take a pain pill and go to bed.
Sunday, August 24, 2014
Back to School Jitters (6 Weeks + 6 Days / One Day UIRTW)
Well, tomorrow will be my test. I don't think there is anything to do at this point except just wait and see how my hip and leg are going to hold up. I've done everything that I can possibly do to try to make this work, so I guess I have to just sit back and hope for a little bit of luck and a lot of adrenaline.
I will probably stop the daily updates as well. There has been increasingly less to write about, and I hope it stays that way. :) I had hoped there would not be so much to write about starting around four weeks post-op, but that didn't work out, so hopefully seven weeks post-op will be the charm. Of course, I will absolutely update with any relevant information, but I just hope there isn't enough 'interesting' news to keep up a daily log.
Thank you all for your love and support. It means a lot to me. :)
I will probably stop the daily updates as well. There has been increasingly less to write about, and I hope it stays that way. :) I had hoped there would not be so much to write about starting around four weeks post-op, but that didn't work out, so hopefully seven weeks post-op will be the charm. Of course, I will absolutely update with any relevant information, but I just hope there isn't enough 'interesting' news to keep up a daily log.
Thank you all for your love and support. It means a lot to me. :)
Saturday, August 23, 2014
Post Surgery: 6 Weeks + 5 Days / 2 Days UIRTW
Because I was distracted yesterday trying to throw a little get-together for my son's birthday, I had to work most of the day today. Between the walk to my office from the parking lot, sitting at my desk for hours, and trying to hang a ridiculously large tapestry on my office wall, I'm pretty sore tonight. To make things worse, we went over to one of my husband's semi-friend's house for dinner. I say semi-friend because this is someone my husband knows professionally, whom I've met once before, and whose wife I've never met. This was our first get-together with them, which is relevant because it means these aren't people I know well, which means I had to try to sit normally without fidgeting or putting my leg up for three hours. So... my leg is pretty swollen right now, plus both my hips hurt, despite the fact that I've been icing them throughout the day.
I think the swelling in my leg is the most irritating thing right now, because it prevents me from squatting down, which actually makes a lot of things quite difficult. For example, I mentioned that I rearranged my office last weekend, and let me tell you it was hard to unplug and replug and disconnect and reconnect all those cords and cables without being able to squat down. Now I'm still finding little things here and there that need reconnecting or tweaking and this is ridiculously hard for me. I also had to climb up onto my desk today to hang my tapestry, and while going up was not so bad, getting down was sort of a challenge. And gardening is still pretty much out of the question.
I had to resort to pain medication last night because my hips were throbbing, particularly my left hip and IT band. WTF? PT on Thursday made my left hip REALLY unhappy! Unfortunately, I think I am going to have to take pain meds again tonight if I want to sleep. I hate, hate, HATE having to do this, but it's really necessary right now. BUT, the good news is that I have not used a crutch or cane at all in several days, even to go significant distances. Also, I noticed today that I've been going up and down stairs like a normal person, for the most part, so that is progress!
I think the swelling in my leg is the most irritating thing right now, because it prevents me from squatting down, which actually makes a lot of things quite difficult. For example, I mentioned that I rearranged my office last weekend, and let me tell you it was hard to unplug and replug and disconnect and reconnect all those cords and cables without being able to squat down. Now I'm still finding little things here and there that need reconnecting or tweaking and this is ridiculously hard for me. I also had to climb up onto my desk today to hang my tapestry, and while going up was not so bad, getting down was sort of a challenge. And gardening is still pretty much out of the question.
I had to resort to pain medication last night because my hips were throbbing, particularly my left hip and IT band. WTF? PT on Thursday made my left hip REALLY unhappy! Unfortunately, I think I am going to have to take pain meds again tonight if I want to sleep. I hate, hate, HATE having to do this, but it's really necessary right now. BUT, the good news is that I have not used a crutch or cane at all in several days, even to go significant distances. Also, I noticed today that I've been going up and down stairs like a normal person, for the most part, so that is progress!
Friday, August 22, 2014
Post Surgery: 6 Weeks + 4 Days / 3 Days UIRTW
Not a whole lot to say today except that my left hip is excessively sore today. Aaaagh! Also, I had a department meeting and I could not sit through the whole thing. I can normally sit okay, but I guess that I was trying not be too fidgety. I must move around a lot when I'm just sitting by myself, because after about an hour of trying to sit still at the meeting, my hips were throbbing, and I had to stand up. Fortunately, almost everyone knows about my situation by now, so I don't think I came across as too psycho. However, the good news is that I managed to walk all the way up to my office from the parking lot unaided. I'm ditching all walking aids in preparation for the upcoming semester, plus I had to carry a bunch of stuff so I needed both arms.
In other news, tonight was my son's birthday, so we had a little celebration with family. This meant shopping and cooking after a painful five hours at work. (After the meeting set off my throbbing, I just couldn't get comfortable.) However, I was pleasantly surprised by how well I held up after grocery shopping and then cooking for a few hours. I'm really sore tonight, but considering how much I did today I don't feel too bad. With that said, I am off to ice and heat and embark on my nightly self-designed PT regimen.
In other news, tonight was my son's birthday, so we had a little celebration with family. This meant shopping and cooking after a painful five hours at work. (After the meeting set off my throbbing, I just couldn't get comfortable.) However, I was pleasantly surprised by how well I held up after grocery shopping and then cooking for a few hours. I'm really sore tonight, but considering how much I did today I don't feel too bad. With that said, I am off to ice and heat and embark on my nightly self-designed PT regimen.
Thursday, August 21, 2014
Post Surgery: 6 Weeks + 3 Days / 4 Days UIRTW
I had a really great PT session today. It took me a while to feel good about my therapist, but I really like him now. Now, of course, when I'm almost done with PT. Go figure. I was thinking about it, and it must be sort of weird being a therapist. You get to know your patients pretty well over the course of a few months, then they go away and you never see them again. I guess my job is sort of the same, only I don't really get to know my students THAT well, plus I often do see them again. Even if I don't have them in class, they are still around.
Anyway, I did a lot of stuff with weights and resistance, and I really felt like I was getting a good workout. Then AJ did his Miracle Massage on my hip, and it was amazing. Unfortunately, after PT I was in a world of hurt. It didn't help that because of PT, I got to work very late in the morning and thus had to park about half a mile from my office. Needless to say, walking that distance up a lot of stairs and hills did not make my hips happy. (I used my cane. Seriously, that's rather embarrassing for me, but I wouldn't have made it without it.) Then I sat at my desk for about six hours, and even though I had my leg propped up somewhat (not above my heart - that is really hard for a number of reasons) my leg still swelled up. Also, my left hip throbbed for most of the afternoon. Ugh. I noticed it hurt a bit during PT but I just sucked it up because it felt so good to actually work out. I'm definitely paying for it now though.
Also, this is sort of funny. I requested a refill for my Xarelto through the patient portal on Tuesday night. I currently have to take 15 mg tablets twice a day, but after reading about Xarelto, it seems that after 21 days I can switch to 20 mg once a day, which I explained in my e-mail (you know, in case my surgeon isn't as up on Xarelto as I am, lol). I was not expecting a prompt response, as the last time I requested a refill for a prescription I had to do it twice before finally getting it. However, my surgeon's medical assistant called me on Wednesday morning just to tell me that my surgeon wasn't in, but she wanted to be sure I knew she wasn't ignoring me. Ha! I told her it wasn't a big deal - I still have about a week to go with my current prescription. I was sort of hoping I could pick the script up today, but whatever. (Something I don't understand is how the patient portal can creepily communicate with pharmacies to pull up a list of all the medications I'm currently taking, but yet cannot request refills electronically. Whatever.) However, today during PT, the MA actually came in and hand delivered the script to me. She also asked if I wanted the surgeon to come in and say hi. I replied, 'Ummmm, I guess... if he wants to,' which was obviously not a rousing endorsement, because he didn't, ha ha. I think my crying fit last week must have them really freaked out. LOL
So all in all it was not a bad day. I'm pretty much working in full crisis mode right now, which is bad for my stress but good for my productivity. Only four more days until the shit hits the fan.
Anyway, I did a lot of stuff with weights and resistance, and I really felt like I was getting a good workout. Then AJ did his Miracle Massage on my hip, and it was amazing. Unfortunately, after PT I was in a world of hurt. It didn't help that because of PT, I got to work very late in the morning and thus had to park about half a mile from my office. Needless to say, walking that distance up a lot of stairs and hills did not make my hips happy. (I used my cane. Seriously, that's rather embarrassing for me, but I wouldn't have made it without it.) Then I sat at my desk for about six hours, and even though I had my leg propped up somewhat (not above my heart - that is really hard for a number of reasons) my leg still swelled up. Also, my left hip throbbed for most of the afternoon. Ugh. I noticed it hurt a bit during PT but I just sucked it up because it felt so good to actually work out. I'm definitely paying for it now though.
Also, this is sort of funny. I requested a refill for my Xarelto through the patient portal on Tuesday night. I currently have to take 15 mg tablets twice a day, but after reading about Xarelto, it seems that after 21 days I can switch to 20 mg once a day, which I explained in my e-mail (you know, in case my surgeon isn't as up on Xarelto as I am, lol). I was not expecting a prompt response, as the last time I requested a refill for a prescription I had to do it twice before finally getting it. However, my surgeon's medical assistant called me on Wednesday morning just to tell me that my surgeon wasn't in, but she wanted to be sure I knew she wasn't ignoring me. Ha! I told her it wasn't a big deal - I still have about a week to go with my current prescription. I was sort of hoping I could pick the script up today, but whatever. (Something I don't understand is how the patient portal can creepily communicate with pharmacies to pull up a list of all the medications I'm currently taking, but yet cannot request refills electronically. Whatever.) However, today during PT, the MA actually came in and hand delivered the script to me. She also asked if I wanted the surgeon to come in and say hi. I replied, 'Ummmm, I guess... if he wants to,' which was obviously not a rousing endorsement, because he didn't, ha ha. I think my crying fit last week must have them really freaked out. LOL
So all in all it was not a bad day. I'm pretty much working in full crisis mode right now, which is bad for my stress but good for my productivity. Only four more days until the shit hits the fan.
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Post Surgery: 6 Weeks + 2 Days / 5 Days UIRTW
Oh that awesome feeling when you can't stop crying. It has been an entire week since I last experienced this, so I guess a good cry is due. LOL. I honestly don't know if it's even my hip/DVT or intense work stress that I should write about on my other blog. So many different aspects of my life are colliding at this point that it's impossible to separate them out. In the end, I am left with material not fit for either blog, not fit to be made public.
I will say this much: I feel like I had a disaster of a time last semester. There was/is a lot going on, so I can't blame it all or even most of it on my hip pain. However, in retrospect I realize that my hip pain certainly didn't help, and in fact the pain made my already ridiculously poor ability to deal with stress even worse. My stress management skills went from F to F-. I really thought having the surgery would reverse my downward spiral (I keep thinking of an extinction vortex, to make a biology analogy), and given how great I felt so soon after surgery, it is hard for me to accept where I am right now. If I do not manage to pull myself together very soon, I am in for a disastrous semester, and I really can't afford that professionally.
I am doing everything I can to get better physically, but there is no miracle cure for my present condition. I am also trying to be positive, but that is something I've always struggled with, and I know for a fact that there is no miracle cure for my mental distress. I guess all that is left to do is try to stay in the present.
I will say this much: I feel like I had a disaster of a time last semester. There was/is a lot going on, so I can't blame it all or even most of it on my hip pain. However, in retrospect I realize that my hip pain certainly didn't help, and in fact the pain made my already ridiculously poor ability to deal with stress even worse. My stress management skills went from F to F-. I really thought having the surgery would reverse my downward spiral (I keep thinking of an extinction vortex, to make a biology analogy), and given how great I felt so soon after surgery, it is hard for me to accept where I am right now. If I do not manage to pull myself together very soon, I am in for a disastrous semester, and I really can't afford that professionally.
I am doing everything I can to get better physically, but there is no miracle cure for my present condition. I am also trying to be positive, but that is something I've always struggled with, and I know for a fact that there is no miracle cure for my mental distress. I guess all that is left to do is try to stay in the present.
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