A Slow News Day (7 Months)

You know how when you watch the local news, and the lead story is about a lost dog or a fender bender, and you think to yourself, 'Wow, it must be a slow news day!' Well, it's a slow news day here. There is not much news on the hip front, which could be either good or bad, I suppose. I choose good. And even though I really don't have a lot to say, I thought I should write a seven-month update.

After my last visit to the orthopedist a month ago, we had settled on... lotion. I was skeptical, but figured what the heck, right? Supposedly this magic cream ( = a sophisticated snake oil?) was to be mailed to me? Nothing. Finally, last Friday, I inquired about this via e-mail, and I also asked for a refill for my meloxicam prescription. Every time I try to stop taking it, I can definitely feel it. My orthopedist's assistant got back to me on Monday telling me she had ordered the snake oil, and gave me a number to call to find out where it was. I didn't, just because. Because last week was insanely busy, and because it doesn't matter. In my heart, I know this is beyond snake oil. She also told me she would check with my doctor about refilling the meloxicam when he got back into the office on Tuesday. I waited all week and finally sent a follow-up e-mail on Friday. She called me within an hour to tell me she was faxing the request to my pharmacy. She seemed annoyed. Geez, woman, sorry to be such an inconvenience.

Anyway. I'm supposed to see my orthopedist in a week and half to talk about how the snake oil is or is not helping me, and even though I have not actually tried the snake oil, I'm going to keep the appointment, because I have a plan laid out in my head. The plan is:

• I'm going to ask to have an arthrogram. I feel as if I need to know what's going on, regardless of whether or not I'd agree to another surgery. To be honest, at this point, my level of discomfort is enough that I cannot completely rule out the possibility that I might seriously need to consider another Something Major that is beyond snake oil and needles. Even if it's not right away, I need to be able to prepare mentally for various possibilities, especially since I'm foreseeing some major changes in my future, and any long periods of being on crutches need to be worked into my plans. (I am a planner.)
• If the arthrogram shows something significant - i.e., something requiring surgery to fix - I think I am going to shop around for a new orthopedist, or at least get second and third opinions about the best course of action.  
• If the arthrogram shows that everything is splendid - i.e., the pain I'm feeling is really just normal, post-surgery pain - I think I am going to try physical therapy again, and I am definitely going to shop around for a GOOD physical therapist. I think I will also try some massage therapy, because my muscles feel really tight. Of course, I know now that the muscle pain could be the pain from inside the joint manifesting itself as muscle pain, which is why I think it would be helpful to get an arthrogram and at least know what I'm dealing with.
• And on the topic of massage, also in my plan is to follow up with my primary care doctor for my DVT. It has been six months since I started taking Xarelto, and the blood clot should be cleared up by now. I need to get an ultrasound to (hopefully) confirm this. I should definitely not have any massage therapy until I am sure the blood clot is gone.

Other random thoughts:

• I have gone skiing several times this winter, and my hip has held its own. This is nothing to get majorly excited about, as I actually went skiing last winter, too, at the height of my pain (pre-cortisone shot and pre-surgery) and my hip held its own. Nevertheless, I'm grateful to be able to ski. For a while, I was so nervous about falling that I spent way too much time worrying about how a fall might affect my hip, and I couldn't relax and just ski. But eventually I took a spill while cutting through some trees, and it turned out to be a good thing, because I wiped out and came out with my hip intact. I realized that while my hip does still hurt me, it's not, like, completely unstable and falling apart on me. That's always a good thing. :)
• The last time I went skiing, I definitely felt a lot of pain afterwards, more than the first couple of times, and enough to sort of freak me out. After a little break, I am going to go again tomorrow. I am a little nervous, but at the same time I sort of figure that no matter what I do, my hip hurts, so why not live a little?
• So while skiing doesn't really bother my hip, walking does. And that is slightly inconvenient. LOL.
• I'm also taking an EMT class right now, and there have been a couple times when I've had MAJOR PAIN from deep within my hip joint that really doesn't sit well with me. This came after trying to run and after doing various types of patient lifting.
• This is actually a concern because I am hoping to be become a certified EMT in May and get a job doing something EMT-related over the summer, which is part of the reason I feel like I really need to know what's going on with my hip, so I can plan accordingly.
• Going from standing to sitting and going up stairs are still my major nemeses. I limp. A lot. So much that pretty much every one of my colleagues has commented on it in the past month.
• Also, trying to find a comfortable position for sleeping is still a challenge, as I cannot lie on either side comfortably. I've actually gone back to lying on my back with my legs elevated, which I had sort of abandoned once my DVT seemed to be getting better. But now I realize I slept like that for so long I'm used to it.

I feel... blah about all of this. On the one hand, I don't have a lot of time to worry about my hip, and that's a good thing. On the other hand, the pain is something that is always with me, always on my mind. I have to think it is taking a toll on me both mentally and physically. I also don't like the idea that this blog is turning into one of these Internet horror story blogs that I was so convinced would never be me. But if there's one thing I've learned from reading aforementioned Internet horror story blogs, it's that attitude makes the biggest difference of all. So while I try to go forward in dealing constructively with some real issues of chronic pain and the various frustrations associated with that pain, I am really trying to focus on the fact that I have an awesome life. I am truly grateful for that.