Post Surgery: 1 Week + 2 Days

Today was a much better day. My leg felt much better, and I heard back from my surgeon's assistant this afternoon, who told me to be sure to drink a lot of water. Argh, dehydration. I've never been very good about drinking enough water, and it has only gotten worse since surgery because A. it is very hard to carry liquids around; and B. going to the bathroom is a huge pain! Maybe I'm subconsciously dehydrating myself to avoid having to pee all the time. I actually had a conversation about this with my daughter's piano teacher, who also happens to be the music teacher at my daughter's school. She said she never drinks water during the day simply because she doesn't get a break until lunchtime so she can't be having to pee all morning.

I think I actually did okay staying hydrated the first two days after surgery because my throat was soooo sore that drinking water made it much more comfortable to swallow, plus at that point I was out of it enough that people were waiting on me, and I just asked for water rather than having to get it myself. Not so much anymore. :_( lol

On a different yet related note, after my son was born, we decided to move out of our two-bedroom house. Since our kids are young, we wanted a house with three bedrooms all on the same level, which was harder to find than it sounds. We wanted to stay in our neighborhood - an older neighborhood with houses built mostly in the early 1900s. Most of the houses with three bedrooms on the same floor are large Victorians, and out of our price range, so we had very limited options. At any rate, there was a house that we seriously considered that met our bedroom criterion, only it didn't have a bathroom on the main level. This ended up being a deal breaker because my mother-in-law has limited mobility, especially when it comes to stairs, and because I was envisioning potty training in the near future, and thought it would be a pain to have to go upstairs to the bathroom with a little one all the time. Little did I know that a few years later, I'd be the one so dependent on a main-level bathroom.

Anyway.

The highlight of today was PT. In case it wasn't obvious, I have been feeling very negative about PT, but decided that I need to go in with a more positive attitude. I do feel like a lot the stuff I am doing is stuff I could do on my own, but at the same time, I think it is good for my mood to get out of the house and have social interaction. And to be fair, the reality is there's not much you can do without putting full weight on your hip or flexing your thigh past 90 degrees. I don't want to give up on PT totally because I do think that a few weeks down the road I'm really going to need some guidance - coming off crutches (seriously that's going to be weird after a month - do you just go cold turkey or what?) and trying to get myself ready for my week-long course (a major source of stress, but I'm trying not to think about it). If nothing else, I'm going to need some kick ass inspiration.

If there is one thing I have learned from reading blogs by people who deal with medical issues, it's that you have to be your own advocate. I mean, I knew this already, but reading blogs has really driven this point home. It's sort of sad that people who can't be their own advocates (or kids who don't have parents who are good advocates) don't get the best care, but in reflecting upon this, I think it works the same way in education, particularly at large, public institutions. I always tell students - in fact I even have a spiel about it in my syllabus - that they have to take responsibility for their own education. If they are confused or unhappy or angry or hate me or whatever, it's their job to let me know, otherwise how am I supposed to read their minds? I follow this up by telling them that I took a psychological test where you try to identify the emotions on people's faces, and apparently I can't even do that, so at any given point, I have no F-ing idea what they are thinking. (Okay, so I omit the F-ing part.) They think this is funny. So I guess advocating for one's self is just the reality of human existence - either that or karma biting me in the ass big time.

With this in mind, I had pre-formulated explanations for a bunch of different scenarios if PT didn't work out for me today. The major options are: A. not do PT (which I decided against for reasons previously discussed); B. do PT, but at a different place (which is a crap shoot; no guarantee it's going to be better, although I did have a great therapist at a different place who worked on my knee several years ago); or C. do PT at the same place but with a different therapist (which can be awkward, especially in a PT center with a completely open floor plan). I really wanted to avoid any of these, but again, you have to do what is best for yourself. However, I also had to keep in mind what I tell my students, and that is that you get out of something what you put into it.

Fortunately, PT was much better; I feel like the therapist was much less distracted and able to at least talk to me about... stuff. Not that I'm even super needy in that way - I'm not too into random chit-chat, and as a student once wrote about me on an evaluation, Whenever I tried to talk to her about something I thought was interesting, she seemed distant and hateful. LOL. I really do not think of myself this way, but it is probably an indication that I am not a warm, fuzzy, super friendly type. At the same time, I do enjoy social interaction, and probably the only thing worse than being alone in my house all day is going to PT and being in room full of people and still feeling completely alone, which is the way I felt the past two sessions.

The sort of funny thing is that when I went in today, a different therapist came and got me and I thought that the one I had worked with on Monday must have felt the same way about me as I did about him and was ditching me, which was okay with me. The 'new' therapist was not very attentive, so I spent the first 20 minutes sort of sitting around waiting for someone to tell me what to do in between heel raises and calf stretches. I seriously almost left at one point. I mean, come on, they tell you to do two sets of 20 of all these exercises; how long do they really think that takes?! Most things they tell you to hold for 3-5 seconds; at the longest, that's 20 x 5 = 100 x 2 = 200 seconds, which is just over three minutes. Fortunately, after 20 minutes of doing pretty much nothing, the original therapist came over; apparently he was just running behind and had asked another PT to get me started, only she didn't really know what I was supposed to be doing. I feel like the therapist was making an extra effort to connect, and since I was too, it was much better.

Things we talked about:

• He mentioned he knew PT was not very 'exciting' at this point, but there wasn't a lot we could do right now due to my restrictions. However, he said it would get better. He also said a lot of people were feeling really good by four weeks and most didn't have much problem making the transition from crutches to walking. I told him about my class starting on August 13th so he at least has that in his head now as my deadline. I mean, I know I'm not going to be 100% by then, in fact far from it, but I do want to aim for that as a 100% walking-without-crutches date for sure.
• I talked to him about the pain I felt yesterday, and he said we should keep an eye on it. He wasn't overly concerned but he didn't blow me off, either. And since I feel much better today, I don't feel overly concerned anymore. He said it could just be that my body was freaking out a little because surgery can do that; it could be pain itself that was causing more pain. He mentioned that even people with high pain tolerances could experience 'weird things' as a result of the pain cycle, even if they didn't feel like they were in pain to begin with (if that makes sense - it did to me, anyway). He also said that while he wasn't pushing pain medication, I should consider it in this case. Somehow taking pain medication at this point seems like going backwards, but I'm trying not to be Irrational Tough Girl.
• I mentioned that some of the exercises hurt my other hip. He asked if I thought I might have the same issue in my left hip as my right. I must have given him A Look, because he quickly said, 'You don't want to go there, do you?' I said I couldn't even think about that right now, even though I know it is a real possibility. I also mentioned my knee problems, but then told him I didn't want to think about it right now, either. He respected that. At the same time, I think it's good for him to be aware of my other issues.
• At the end of the session, I get to ice and that's my favorite part. Plus they have this high tech (and I'm sure very expensive) machine that provides cold and compresses you as well. It feels soooo nice, and it's really relaxing. I just lie there and try to de-stress and go to my happy place and enjoy the relief of the cold. The funny thing is that today while I was icing the therapist came over and said he felt bad because everyone else in the room was in one area and I was all by myself. It's as if he read my mind (or my blog, ha ha). I don't mind being by myself and ignored while I'm lying there icing, but it was nice of him.

After PT, I went to the farmers market with my parents. It was POURING rain, but we eventually managed to get inside and get a drink. :) A few people commented how die hard I must be to be out on crutches in the rain. I didn't tell them I am not actually that die hard about fresh vegetables, but that I really wanted a drink.