Post Surgery: 3 Weeks + 3 Days

I'm having a terrible day. Both of my hips are hurting - my left more than my right. My husband thinks this is a good thing. When I talked to him on the phone last night, I told him my hip had hurt quite a bit all day. 'Which one?!' he asked, sounding alarmed. My left one, I told him. 'Oh, phew, well that's okay,' he declared. LOL. I mean I guess I sort of get where he is coming from. If my right hip were hurting that much, it would be sort of alarming in that I'd worry I had re-torn the cartilage or something. But still, it is annoying, especially considering how great I felt very early after the surgery. It's discouraging to be feeling worse now than three weeks ago. And the thing is that the pain is constant - it doesn't matter if I'm sitting, standing, lying down, bearing weight, not bearing weight or floating around in space weightless (ha ha). It also doesn't help that it rained all day today for the second day in a row, and rain puts me in a bad mood, and then my bad mood negatively affects my ability to deal with pain and discomfort. 

Super kudos to my physical therapist for dealing with me in a very compassionate and appropriate way today. I sort of love him for it. I didn't even try to hide my bad mood or act upbeat when I got to PT. The thing is that I have a teaching persona that I'm pretty good at putting on when I teach - I feel like I have to appear confident and put together and emotionally stable. (Even if I appear 'distant and hateful,' as one student described me, no one has ever figured out that I'm an emotional basket case with imposter syndrome.) When I go out in public, I tend to put on my teaching persona, because I'm very frequently running into current and former students (in liquor stores, in pet stores, in grocery stores, in restaurants, you name it), plus, like most people, I just don't want to look like a wreck in public. Putting on my teaching persona is just a habit. But today, I just didn't feel like it. Because I am not feeling confident or put together or emotionally stable. And as I was in the elevator heading up to PT trying to put on my teaching persona, it occurred to me that I don't have to do this. It is role reversal time. My PT is the one who had to wake up this morning and put on his PT persona. I, on the other hand, am on the other side of the desk so to speak. In this situation, I'm the one who is allowed to be unsure and unhappy and vulnerable. So I put myself out there and told him first thing that I had had a rough couple of days, that I was really starting to worry about my pain, and that I was freaking out. There, I said it. It just came out, just like that.

So, he told me not to freak out, then started reformulating his plan for the day. We didn't do any standing up exercises; we went over to the table and did some lying down exercises and a little bit of stretching. Then he asked me if it was okay if he tried some massage, which honestly, was the perfect thing right about then. The sort of funny thing is that he was a little timid about it, I guess because... you know, I'm female and he's male and hips are, well, sort of a sensitive area (not like a knee or shoulder), requiring his hands in my pants to access. LOL. He actually worked on both (!) sides, and it helped a little. The muscles are just soooo tight, though, which he commented on. Also, a lot of the pain on my left side is actually in my groin area, which I did NOT tell him about, ha ha. However, he worked on my psoas and iliotibial band and that did provide some relief. He suggested that I might want to try massage therapy; he said he had just finished working with another guy who had the same surgery who had found massage therapy to be very helpful. I definitely love the idea, I just have to see if it's a doable splurge financially. He also asked if I had tried heat rather than ice, which I hadn't. After the massage, he put heat on my right side, which actually felt good, so I'm going to try it on my left side tonight, assuming I can dig out a heating pad from... somewhere.

I also reminded him that Monday would be four weeks post-op - I can't let him forget that! He asked if I was coming in on Monday. I said yes, but did not volunteer that I had made the appointment last week to be sure I could get in in the morning and get this show on the road ASAP. (So far I've only been coming in in the afternoons.) I must have had my The Crutches Have To Go look on, because he gave me an overview of how the weaning was going to work, and said that it needed to be somewhat gradual, and I would need to be somewhat patient. Then he added, 'in case you were planning on getting up on Monday morning and going for a three-mile run.' Ha!

I think I really need to stay positive despite my current pain. The semester is quickly approaching, and the clock is ticking. Physiologically, things are what they are, but I feel like a positive attitude will make a big difference in how I feel going into the school year. And I had a really bad year last year, so I need this one to be better. I asked my doctor for a refill for pain medication, and I decided that I'm going to try taking half a pill at night to see if that can at least take the edge off some of my pain. After all, this isn't a competition to see who can handle the most pain without medication, like some women view giving birth. (If you've had a baby recently, I'm sure you know exactly what I'm talking about.) I need to be ready to do some kick-ass rehab next week, and I can't have pain getting in the way of it. To do this, I have to drop the Tough Girl act and stop seeing medication as going backwards. I keep telling myself I am going forward; I am going forward. I might not be able to see it right now, but I am.

Post Surgery: 3 Weeks + 2 Days

As I predicted, this week is dragging on veeeeerrrry slooooowly. I keep getting excited for PT tomorrow because I keep thinking that this is my come-off-crutches PT session, then I have to remind myself that I am still in Week 3, and it's not until the PT after my PT tomorrow that we get to have a Ditch The Crutches party.

By the way, my therapist has no idea about my party plans, and somehow I'm guessing he's not the partying type. The other day, he had me do a balancing exercise and acted sort of surprised when I could do it. I mean, not totally; hopefully he wasn't having me do an exercise he really didn't think I could do, but he told me to hold it 'for as long as I could.' Ten minutes later, I was like, DUDE, I'M STILL HERE, do I really have to hold this for as long as I can?! (Okay, so it probably wasn't ten minutes, maybe more like four or five, but still!) He made some remark about my sense of balance, so I told him that the exercise reminded me of the Bongo board my best friend had in college that we used to mess around on for fun. I mentioned that it was not normally super challenging, but that it got more difficult as the evening progressed and more drinks went down the gullet. He did not even crack a smile at the mention of the drinks.

But just to show you how dedicated I am to this blog ;-), I went through my old photos, because I was certain I had a picture of me on the Bongo board, and I think that blogs are far more interesting when they have pictures in them. I did have a picture - in fact, I'm pretty sure that the photo is the reason I even recall the Bongo board after all of these years - but unfortunately whoever took the picture had apparently imbibed a bit, so I was cut off from the feet down. I took the liberty of drawing in the rest in Photoshop. :)

Speaking of imbibing, if you are American, you are probably thinking that I am a huge alcoholic right about now. In fairness, I should warn you that it's likely that a lot of my entries will include alcohol in them, ha ha. I really don't think I'm an alcoholic, but I am part French, and my French grandmother saw wine as an essential part of meals, and alcohol as an essential part of life in general (which I'm sure was exacerbated by her life circumstances, which I would expand upon if this weren't a blog dedicated to my hip :)). I have spent a fair amount of time in France and in Europe and have found that they have a very different attitude about drinking there. This more relaxed attitude toward alcohol is one part of my French heritage that really works for me. During the summers when I was in college, I worked in a deli, and my boss had a poster in his office that said, 'Wine is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.' That pretty much sums it up for me.

Anyway.

It was very cold today - it rained all day and the high was 60 degrees. I had to break my 'no hip flexion past 90 degrees' restriction to put on socks. (Seriously, how do people who have this surgery during the winter do it? How do you put on socks without flexing your hip past 90 degrees or doing external rotation?!) Also, today is Wednesday, which is farmers market day. I went with my parents, as usual. I should mention that I live in place with a ridiculously short growing season, and I don't know how anyone can make an actual living growing things here, but never mind that, this is a blog about my hip. ;-) The point, however, is that the farmers market is pretty small, so it's not that hard to get to know the vendors if you frequent it.

Today, a woman who runs one of the local farms, finally asked me, 'What happened to you?!' It was sort of funny considering that this is the third week I've been to the farmers market on crutches, and last week, when it was also raining (even though I live in a place that gets no more than 15 inches of rain per year, it never fails to rain on the afternoon of the farmers market), she commented on how dedicated I was to be out in the rain on crutches, and offered to let me stand under the tent in the vendors' space, yet never inquired, 'What happened to you?!' I guess after three weeks she just couldn't stand it anymore, and had to say something, ha ha. So today, in response to her inquiry, I told her that I'd had hip surgery, which was of course met with the usual, 'But you're so young!' I've found that a lot of people think that hip surgery = hip replacement, so I told her that I just had some torn cartilage fixed, and left it at that. Then she said that her husband (a firefighter/farmer who is much older than I am) had recently had a torn labrum in his hip fixed, and I said yes (!) that's actually what I had done, too. We had a brief conversation about having the cartilage repaired as opposed to removed, and it turns out that both her husband and I had the same surgeon (which is not that surprising considering this is not a surgery that tons of orthopedists know how to do). The woman proceeded to tell me how life-changing this surgery had been for her husband, and how happy they both were that he had had it, and how great the surgeon was, and on and on and on. She did mention that the recovery was a little long and rough at times, but in the end it had been worth it. Then in the midst of the conversation, her husband actually came sauntering up with a friend, and we mentioned that we had just been talking about him, and he confirmed his happiness and said how amazing it was to be totally pain free. Plus I made a note of noticing that he was walking totally normally, so that made me feel really good. :) I don't know how long ago he had his surgery, but as I've mentioned, my surgeon is very young, so I can't imagine that his surgery was that long ago! Regardless, it was a good to have a positive, unpaid and impromptu testimonial from a living, breathing, former patient of my doctor that This Is Worth It.

Also, as my mom said, this was the most loquacious that this woman has ever been, despite the fact that my mom has been buying things from her farm for years. After my conversation with her about hip surgery, she then started talking to my mom about farm stuff and whatnot. I guess it just took me on crutches to open this whole dialogue.

The interesting thing is that every time I open Facebook, I feel like one of my friends has shared an article about 'what not to say to someone who...' Someone who recently had a divorce. Someone who is a single mom. Someone whose child has a chronic illness. Someone who has lost a child. Someone who has had a miscarriage. Someone who is adopted. Someone who is overweight. Someone who is underweight. Someone who cuts. Someone who has an undiagnosed condition. Someone whose child has an undiagnosed condition. Someone who had this happen, someone who had that happen, someone who... is alive. OMG do not offend! Just do not say anything!! Every time I read these things, I think Uh-oh, I know someone who recently had X, Y, or Z, and I recently said A, B, and C to them, they must haaaaate me!! OMG, I am a hooooorrrrible person!! I have enough trouble coming up with things to say to people, and all these rules sort of freak me out. And I'm not trying to be flippant about these situations; I always try to say the right thing, or at least the best thing I can think of. But if we all knew the right thing to say for every moment, we'd all have jobs designing cards for Hallmark, lol. To use a personal example, my daughter has a chromosomal abnormality that no one seems to know anything about. I don't know exactly what I think about this, and even the geneticist we met with who discovered the anomaly told us she wasn't sure what say. My daughter is, for the most part, fairly normal, so this isn't a topic that comes up frequently. If it does, however, the last thing I want is for people to feel like they can't say anything because they read some article about '10 things not to say to people with kids who have abnormal chromosomes.' Seriously, just bring it on. Even if you say something stupid, I know you're trying. And I'll tell you if you're being stupid.

Of course, due to my recent circumstances, I've been reading a lot about being on crutches, and inevitably, I stumbled across a site about things you should not say to people on crutches (http://www.livinglifeoncrutches.com/crutch-talk-etiquette/). While I don't mean to belittle the plight of people who are permanent crutch users, and I understand how annoying it must be to be constantly answer questions about their situation, I think it's natural for people to be curious and inquire. I guess what I think is that you should never assume the worst of someone who is trying to make a conversation with you. S/he may be annoying, but that doesn't mean s/he doesn't have good intentions. And this really isn't just about crutch conversations, it's about a lot more than that. For instance, my brother and his wife lost their baby at 25 weeks in utero, which was awful, awful, awful. My sister-in-law had to go in and be induced and deliver a dead baby in a place with a bunch of happy new moms; I seriously can't imagine what that was like. What do you say in a situation like that? There are no words. But ultimately, I think saying nothing is worse that saying something, even if that something violates someone's '10 things you should never say' list. Because ever since my brother's tragedy, everyone has been too afraid to say anything, lest they say the wrong thing, and now we barely talk.

But whatever, why would you take the advice of a total stranger who, for all you know, is the weirdest, most socially awkward person ever, and who has a really weird relationship with her family? And never mind all that; this is a blog about my hip. :)

Post Surgery: 3 Weeks + 1 Day

Today is not the best hip day. My left hip (supposedly my good one) is really hurting, and my right hip has been aching on and off as well. I think a lot of it is because with my husband being gone + my brother visiting, I've been doing a lot more standing, cooking, trying to change diapers, and walking around on one crutch so I can carry things. Needless to say, considering my level of discomfort, I'm starting to feel slightly panicked about August 13th, which is when I have to start teaching again - from 8-5 for five days. I guess I was hoping this would be the week where I felt totally awesome and totally ready to Ditch The Crutches and be one of the folks who could basically just go cold turkey off crutches (like when the 'binky fairy' comes and takes away all of a kid's pacifiers). I'm not feeling like that is in the cards.

On the other hand, maybe I'm just having a bad day. The other contributing factor is that my niece spent the night with us last night. The good news is that the sleepover went great. The down side, for me, is that I let the girls sleep in my bed and I slept in my daughter's bed. Since my husband is out of town, this seemed to make more sense than trying to drag the futon mattress up from the basement or set up the futon in the family room (which, of course, I just recently folded back up after sleeping on it for two weeks). These are the types of things that you never even think twice about normally, but that become a huge burden on crutches. Unfortunately, my daughter's bed was soooo uncomfortable! (Note to self: she needs a new mattress!)

I also think cooking exacerbates things, as it can involve some awkward angles, heavy pots and pans, and sometimes pushing the limits of the '50% weight bearing' when there is something you just reeeeaaaalllly need and need quickly that is three steps away, and you don't feel like fetching your crutch just to get it. Last night, I made stuffed zucchini and pumpkin blossoms, which were at least quite tasty, so perhaps worth my pain. (My mom had to pick all the blossoms for me.) By the way, if you are into eating flowers, I put garlic, goat cheese, basil, olive oil, and quinoa into a blossom, tie them up with a chive, and fry them for two minutes per side. Tasty. :)

Tonight we are going out for dinner, and my brother is leaving tomorrow, so perhaps my hips can catch some R&R later this week. Back to the drive-thrus!

Post Surgery: Three Weeks!

Three weeks! Three weeks! = one week until my ditch the crutches date! Although, as the therapist told me today during PT, it's actually one week until I get to start weaning off the crutches. You know, in case I was envisioning waking up a week from today and throwing the crutches into the recycle bin, it's probably good to know that's not how it actually works.* LOL. However, I did actually make my PT appointments for next week today, to be sure that I could get in nice and early on Monday morning and start weaning ASAP. BecauseohmygodIamsoready.

* I'm never getting rid of these crutches. I wouldn't say I'm exactly superstitious, but I do believe in irony, and I figure the minute I ditch the crutches, I'll need crutches again. So why not keep them around, even if my reasoning fits into the 'insurance policy for crazy people' category? Heck, I've got a big basement.

A couple of notable things about today:

• I woke up to a very bizarre and agonizing condition, and that is that I had a cramp in both my calf and my shin at the same time. Seriously, that's a first. I frequently get cramps in my calf muscles, but I've never had a cramp in my shin before! And the fact that it was happening at the same time as a cramp in my calf sort of floored me in terms of WTF is going on and how am I going to deal with this?! (Plus it was 5:00 in the morning, so I wasn't exactly thinking clearly.) The only fortunate thing about this was that it was in my left leg (non-operated on side), which made it slightly easier to deal with than if it had been on my bad side. However, normally I get rid of calf cramps by hopping out of bed and stretching my calves out so they just can't cramp up; I basically get rid of them through brute force. This morning was a bizarre experience watching my foot move up and down as my gastrocnemius and tibialis anterior fought it out. Eventually I decided to try standing up to see if that would help. It didn't, and I almost fell over. The pain in my cramped up leg was horrible, yet I couldn't put too much weight on my right side, which, yeah, leads to almost falling over. LOL. I sat back down and noticed the rolling pin by the side of my bed. Ha ha ha, how often do you find a rolling pin by the side of your bed?! (See this entry for the story on the rolling pin: http://39andhip.blogspot.com/2014/07/post-surgery-2-weeks-5-days.html) I used it to roll the cramp out of my shin, then I stretched the cramp out of my calf. So... thank God for random, post-surgery muscle spasms that led me to have a rolling pin by the side of my bed?!
• I had a good PT session today, actually with a different person, because my regular guy was booked. I liked the new guy better, although he is actually not a PT, but a PT assistant, so I'm not sure how it works in terms of who gets what appointments and whatnot. Anyway, it was a little hard starting over at square one and explaining the pain in my left hip and knee and the random muscle spasms that have been afflicting my right leg since surgery and blah blah blah, but I did feel like the New Guy was more sensitive to all the pain I've been feeling all over my lower extremities since the surgery. My regular therapist is aware of the pain, but basically seems to think everything is copacetic as long as my right hip doesn't hurt. And while he may be right, I remain respectfully wary of this point of view. New Guy used the rolling pin on both hips and had me ice both sides, which actually really helped. I told him about my bizarre experience with simultaneous cramping in both my calf and my shin, and he told me he has only had a cramp ONCE IN HIS LIFE. I repeat: ONCE IN HIS LIFE!! Seriously, what planet does he come come from?!
• I mentioned in a previous post that my husband had to go out of town for work this week, and that my brother and his family are also in town. Well, because it is apparently not enough of a challenge to handle two kids on crutches sans husband, I let my daughter talk me into a sleepover with my niece, who is only five and has never done a sleepover before. (The two other times my daughter has had someone over for a sleepover for the first time, it ended with the first-time sleepover-er going home in the middle of the night.) I guess I let it get out of hand while the cousins were plotting simply because my brother is quite a control freak and I never thought he would let it happen. His girls wear gender-neutral clothing, can't play with dolls or drink lemonade, and usually have to go to bed at 4:30 PM when they visit (because 4:30 PM here is 6:30 PM where they live). It never ever occurred to me that his daughter would be allowed to spend the night in a pink bedroom with I don't even know how many dolls and go to bed way too late. (Admittedly, my kids often go to bed later than I'd prefer.) Yet the sleepover is happening. By some miracle, I actually had all the kids in bed with the lights out by 8:10 PM. It is now 9:34 PM and I have not heard any peeps. 
• I'm pretty tired and would love to go to bed. Unfortunately, when I clomp up the stairs on my crutches, it makes a lot of noise and I feel like I need to give the silence at least another hour before I disturb it.

Post Surgery: 2 Weeks + 6 Days

There is not a lot of news on the hip front today except that all throughout the day, I felt my leg pain trying to creep back. I only have two pain pills left, and I reeeeaaaaallly want to save them for when I'm, like, in agony, so instead I drank a gin and tonic late afternoon. ;-)

The sort of funny thing about the gin and tonic is that it wasn't as easy as it sounds. My husband decided he wanted a G&T, only we didn't have any gin, or tonic water, or limes, lol, so he asked me to go to the liquor store, because he was busy doing things around the house that I cannot do, like shoveling gravel out of the back of our truck onto our walkway. Normally I don't mind going to the liquor store, but helllloooo, it is not easy to go to the liquor store on crutches. It is not easy to go to any store on crutches, but it is somehow less embarrassing to go to a store on crutches and buy something at least semi-important, like guinea pig food, than it is to go to a store and buy something that is obviously not necessary, like gin and tonic water and limes. Somehow going to a liquor store on crutches makes me feel just one step removed from the people on crutches who sit outside the liquor store asking for money or liquor or both.

Furthermore, the neighborhood liquor store I've always gone to became somewhat of a turnoff to me when one of my former students, who failed my class, started working there sometime this summer. I realized this when I went into the store one day and the guy working the register said, 'Hey, don't you teach biology at ABC College?' I replied, 'Yes, I do.' He said, 'Yeah, I had you last semester!' Followed by, 'Maybe I'll have you again this semester!' Oh boy. I knew from our conversation then that he worked on Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays, and made a mental note to go to the liquor store early in the week.

Thus, when my husband requested that I make a liquor run today (Sunday), I questioned whether I should go to another liquor store or just brave it out at our local store. On the one hand, if I went to a different store, no one would know me, so who cares if they think I'm some drugged out bag lady who just collected enough money from begging to buy a bottle of gin?! On the other hand, if you're shopping for stuff on crutches, the only way to pull this off is to put things in a bag as you shop, which makes it look like you're shoplifting. I decided that the chances of being accused of shoplifting were less at liquor store where they knew me, and decided to go there, even though I knew this meant possibly running into my former student in a really pathetic state. Crutches + buying liquor just doesn't seem like a person's most dignified moment.

Enjoying a hard-earned G&T! Better than hydrocodone!

Sure enough, my former student was there. Although it was super awkward for me, I have to admit that he seems to be a nice enough guy, and he doesn't seem to hate me for failing him. (Seriously, he never came to class, which is why I didn't recognize him as one of my former students until he told me.) He seemed genuinely concerned about what was wrong with me and whether or not I was okay. LOL. Also, one of the higher ups, who has known me for much longer, and who has known my parents for, like, foreeeeever, seemed upset over my plight and followed me everywhere, insisting on carrying things for me. (I think this pressured me into buying the big $40 bottle of gin versus the $25 bottle.) Then, after I had paid for everything, he told my former student to carry everything out to the car for me, which was embarrassing because my car is, well, embarrassing!

All of this for one stinking gin and tonic!

Later in the evening, my brother and his family arrived from out of town. They are staying with my parents, so we went and had dinner with them at my parents' house. My parents only live three blocks away, but I drove, because three blocks is a really far distance to go on crutches, especially when you add busy streets and children into the mix. I felt really lame, though, because I can't remember the last time I ever drove to their house, or to any place three blocks away. To add to this, it started to pour after dinner, with lightning and thunder, to the extent that we kept waiting for a break because of how difficult it would be to get out to the car with the kids and me on crutches. Seriously? We live in a place that gets no more than 15 inches of rain a year, and 5 of them are predicted for the next two days?! Awesome.

The good news is that the G&T and the few glasses of wine I had tonight seem to have done the same job as the hydrocodone, so hopefully I won't have to take any tonight.

Post Surgery: 2 Weeks + 5 Days

The bad and the good...

The bad: I missed my daily update yesterday.

The good: This means I'm thinking of other things besides my hip.

The bad: Last night was the first time that it hit me that I am so over the crutches. Seriously, they have to go. I think the first week after surgery felt pretty slow, then the next (almost) two weeks just flew by, and now it seems like this last week is going to last forever. Enough already!

The good: I managed to get rid of my leg pain by taking half of a hydrocodone Friday evening and another half before bed. It didn't even really make me goofy, I slept great, and enjoyed a pain-free day yesterday. I also took my therapist's advice and had my husband use a rolling pin (literally - a rolling pin from our kitchen) on my leg. That helped a lot. Then I tried it on him and he loved it. It was nice to reciprocate seeing as how I've been constantly whining and asking him to massage the various parts of my body that have been spazzing out since the surgery.

The bad: I can feel the pain creeping back.

The good: At least I know how I can get rid of it.

The bad: I don't want to keep taking pain pills. I see this as a huge step backwards. It is like when my son was born. Despite being a month and a half early and weighing three and a half pounds, he did not need oxygen. He breathed fine on his own for over two weeks. However, a few days before he left the NICU, he suddenly needed to be on oxygen (which was a pain). The nurse explained that this was because he was eating better, only he couldn't eat well and breathe well all at once. So, we had to go backward to go forward. Maybe the fact that I'm getting around well and doing more and increasing my activity in PT is causing my leg pain, and I have to go backward to go forward.

The good: I feel like I'm in the home stretch of the hardest part of recovery.

Post Surgery: 2 Weeks + 4 Days

Well, this is awkward.

Let me explain: This is actually my first post here that is in 'real time.' I didn't actually start this blog until 1 Week + 1 Day of my recovery. Of course, when I started, I had to start from the very beginning, so that everything would be chronological (if for no other reason than to satisfy my own anal-retentiveness). All of the post surgery updates until now were actually cut and pasted from my journal, which explains why there have been multiple posts from multiple days posted on the same day. (I'm the only person I know who pays attention to such things, but just in case there is someone out there I don't know who pays attention to such things, there is your explanation. :))

So here we are.

Unfortunately, today has been not so good. I am super duper sore from PT yesterday, which in itself isn't a bad thing. My thighs are killing from the squats I did holding onto a rail, but this is actually a good pain, like the type you feel after a good workout. However, my leg pain is back with a vengeance, despite all of my positivity about how the 24 hours of fogginess from the cyclobenzaprine would be worth it if it got rid of this damn pain. (And I REALLY wanted this to be the case! So you've got to add at least a few ounces of placebo effect into the mix.) I mean, I am aware that the effects of drugs do not last very long; if they did, commercials for Aleve, whose big claim-to-fame seems to be that you only have to take it once a day, wouldn't mean much. However, I also know that pain is a cycle, and according to my physical therapist, pain can cause muscles to freak out, and muscles that are freaking out can cause more pain, and 'round and 'round it goes. I guess I thought that if I could somehow interrupt the pain cycle, then my pain receptors would just chill out, and I could be done with this. But, I am NOT taking the cyclobenzaprine again unless the alternative is, like, dying. I just don't have that much time to be that dysfunctional. So I guess I'll try taking the hydrocodone tonight and see where that gets me.

Is it weird that in all of this post surgical pain, almost none of it has involved the hip that was operated on? My right hip has been a champion through all of this.

In other news, I mentioned earlier that my brother and his family are coming to town on Sunday and staying until Wednesday. Since this is a blog about my hip, I won't go into details about my relationship with my brother, or my brother's relationship with my parents, or my own relationship with my parents for that matter, but I will say that this is not something I'm super looking forward to. I mean, I'm not exactly dreading it, either, but... let's just say that it is a source of some stress. I'll leave it at that. (I'm sure that we could all write an entire series of books about Relationships With Family if we had the time and energy and the desire to dwell on and/or re-live our Bizarre Family Experiences.) On top of this, my husband has to go out of town for work Monday through Thursday. (How lucky is he?! LOL.) So next week I'll be sort of on my own, yet with lots of family around - to hopefully at least sort of help out...? Regardless of how it turns out, it's going to involve at least some stress, and since I have a really low tolerance for stress, whatever stress there is, I guarantee that I will inevitably blow way out of proportion. (In the interest of full disclosure, I'm just warning you ahead of time.)

Happy real-time blogging, and I will catch up with you tomorrow!

Post Surgery: 2 Weeks + 3 Days

Highlights:

• That muscle relaxant I took seems to have done away with the pain in my leg.
• So far, anyway.
• Fingers crossed!
• It was a super tiring day! My husband had to work early so I had to take my son to daycare. He woke up on the wrong side of the bed and was being soooo difficult that I didn't drop him off until 10:00. I had to leave him upstairs in the midst of his hissy fit because he was flipping out because I would not put his poopy diaper back on him nor let him take it out of the trash. I told him to come downstairs when he calmed down, but unfortunately, he never did. And I did not have it in me to go back upstairs. So I sent my daughter up. She eventually managed to get him downstairs where he semi pretended to eat breakfast between irrational temper tantrums about anything and everything. I hate to say it, but boy was I happy to get rid of him.
• My daughter was happy to have me to herself, so we played games all morning, then I made her practice piano before her afternoon lesson. There is one song that I just hate that she can't seem to get past; she calls it the Boogie Woogie Stupid Song and I agree so much I can't even tell her not to use the word stupid. I told her I was sick of hearing it and that she needed to practice it so she could move on after today's lesson and never have to play it again. (Fortunately, she did.)
• After her piano lesson, I took her out to my mother-in-law's and then went to PT.
• I did a ton of stuff in PT today, and my leg feels absolutely fine.
• So far, anyway.
• Fingers crossed!
• I had a pretty good session with my therapist. He's growing on me. I told him the story of my adventures with pharmaceuticals and he seemed slightly amused. There may be a real person inside the shell after all. 
• He asked me how my appointment with the doctor had gone, which surprised me because I hadn't told him I had the appointment.
• The rest of the conversation went something like this. Him: 'Did you ask him about your left hip?' Me: 'Yes.' Him: 'What did he say?' Me: 'Not a whole lot. He said 10-15% of people have bilaterally tears, so it's possible I do, too.' Him: 'Did you ask him about the pain in your leg?' Me: 'Yes.' Him: 'What did he say?' Me: 'Not a whole lot. He really doesn't know what it is.' Him: 'What did he say about your progress so far?' Pause. 'Let me guess, not a whole lot.' LOL. Then he mentioned that when he had talked to the doctor, they both agreed that I was doing well.
• The absolute best part of PT today was when the therapist took something that was basically like a rolling pin and rolled it all along my thigh to try to work some of the tightness out. Amazing. In that semi-masochistic way. 
• After PT, I picked my son up at daycare and managed to avoid any major meltdowns. I swear, he used to be the Sweetest Boy Ever, so I'm not sure if this recent bout of Bad Behavior is just a new I'm almost three phase or if it's because of this surgery ordeal and being in daycare and things being different, or some combination of everything.
• My husband had to work tonight, so I had to do dinner and baths and bedtime and then I took a shower and now I'm exhausted. 
• But the pain in my leg has not returned.
• So far, anyway.
• Fingers crossed!

Post Surgery: 2 Weeks + 2 Days

Ugh, ugh, ugh! Last night, the pain in my right leg was very bad again, so I decided to try taking a muscle relaxant that my PA had prescribed for me a long time ago - cyclobenzaprine. I didn't want to take the hydrocodone again, because that made me spin and prevented me from sleeping, plus it wore off in the middle of the night, and the intense pain returned and woke me up from whatever early stage of the sleep cycle I had managed to get into. I had never taken the muscle relaxant before because my husband said the side effects were horrible, and I could not be dealing with horrible side effects when I had to teach. (I actually tried one of the milder medications my PA had promised 'wouldn't make me too stupid,' and I almost had to cancel class the next morning.) However, since my leg seemed to be in full spasm last night, a muscle relaxant seemed to be appropriate.

Let me just say that my husband was right. When I woke up this morning, it was like a had a Benadryl hangover x 10. OMG! And honestly, if my husband and the kids hadn't woken me up, I'm certain I would have slept until noon. In fact, after they left, I promptly went back to sleep and did sleep until noon. When I woke up, I was STILL feeling fuzzy and like I could probably not drive safely.

After an hour or so, I came out of the fog enough to drive a short distance to the bank and get money for our cleaning lady, who comes every other Wednesday. (This is a luxury that my husband asked for for Christmas last year; how romantic.) I almost canceled, but the house really needed cleaning after the two weeks of chaos since my surgery (usually we do clean some in between cleanings), plus my brother and his family are coming on Sunday.

After I went to the bank, I went to the farmers market with my parents, mainly to stay out of the cleaning lady's way for at least a little while. Normally we all stay away the whole time - we usually go out to dinner - but I didn't see that happening today. I left a note asking her to clean the master bedroom and bathroom first so I could just hang out there and not be in her way. When I got home from the farmers market, I went upstairs and dozed on and off until my husband got home with the kids around 6:00.

The good news is that my leg feels awesome, so at least the drug served its purpose. :) If the pain stays away, maybe it was worth it. In the evening, I tried using just one crutch and it definitely has its upsides! (I can carry stuff! OMG!!) Plus, it will make walking totally without crutches much easier, once that time comes.

First Post-Op Appointment (2 Weeks + 1 Day)

I had my two-week post-op appointment with my doctor today. One thing I LOVE about this doctor is that I never have to wait more than a few minutes to see him. I always appreciate punctuality, and it seems to be super rare in orthopedists. That said, he did sort of seem like he was in a hurry during our appointment, but obviously that's how he stays on a timeline. That's better than doctors who keep you waiting for two hours and then give you five minutes of their time because their time is obviously sooooo much more valuable than yours. Besides, he answered all my questions thoroughly, it's just that he talked reeeaaaalllly fast, like he was on speed. (Okay, I'm not sure why I wrote that, I've never even had a conversation with someone on speed. I bet it doesn't even make you talk fast.)

Anyway, the purpose of the visit was to get my stitches out. Apparently the incisions healed very quickly because the doctor remarked that it was 'good we're getting these out now.' The tissue was healing all around and on top of the stitches, which made for one painful moment when he pulled one of them out. Other highlights:

• The doctor had given a series of photos from the surgery to my mom to give to me 'for my scrapbook.' I guess he explained to her what they illustrated but of course my mom knows nothing about anything body-related. I tried and tried to figure out what was going on, but couldn't (which is embarrassing to admit considering I used to teach anatomy). So I brought the photos in and had him explain them to me. He enthusiastically delved into what he calls 'the show and tell part of my job!' He also said the first time he saw a hip joint through a camera, he had no idea what anything was either. Hopefully that was a long time ago, ha ha. When I was toying with the idea of med school a while back, orthopedics was certainly an area of interest to me, but this made me realize that I did not miss my calling. I just don't think I could do surgery; my brain doesn't work the right way for it. I think that's why organic chemistry was a struggle for me, too. I could never visualize molecules in three dimensions and got turned around and confused very easily. For example, I could never distinguish between enantiomers (molecules that are mirror images of each other) and two molecules that were actually the same molecule, only shown from a different angle (I fell for it every time).
• For more show and tell, visit the Arthroscopy Show and Tell page.
• The doctor asked me about my right leg pain. Of course, the pain was really bad last night but had sort of subsided by the time I got to my appointment at 11:45 AM, then promptly returned after the appointment. Go figure. After doing a few tests and confirming that I was drinking plenty of water and taking aspirin every day, he said he was sure it wasn't a blood clot, which was the major concern he wanted to rule out. He basically just chalked it up to my body freaking out a bit after the trauma of surgery and weirdness of being on crutches, etc. (Note: He never actually used the terms 'freaking out' or 'weirdness.') At this point, I can accept that as an explanation. 
• The doctor said that about 10-15% of people who have a labral tear on one side also have it on the other, so it was possible I might have the same problem on the left side. In fact, he said he had just operated on someone yesterday for the second time in a year to fix his other hip. The funny thing is that we were having this conversation while he was pulling my stitches out, and he was telling me how in the past, this type of repair required surgical dislocation of the hip, and with that type of surgery, there would have been a huge incision several inches long. He then proceeded to trace the path along my hip with his finger to show me where the incision would have been. I mentioned that this was one time where I was glad I had waited 15 years to deal with a medical problem. Then he said, 'Well who knows, maybe in another 15 years we'll look back and think how crazy it was that we had to make two incisions to do this surgery.' So yeah, maybe if I have the same problem in my left hip, I should just wait another 15 years before dealing with it. :)
• I asked the doctor if he had any thoughts on my knee pain, and he seemed to agree with the therapist that it was my quad muscles tightening up. Again, it's just one of those things you hope resolves as you return to normal. He said that people more commonly had pain in their hip flexors and groin area after surgery, but that everyone was different, and in my case my quads were probably just irritated. I actually stretched my quads out last night and I noticed that the pain isn't as bad today, so hopefully stretching can get me through a few more weeks until I'm able to sit like I'm used to sitting. 
• The doctor said he knew PT was pretty boring at this point - 'very conservative,' he said.
• The doctor asked if I had managed to get up my spiral staircase yet, and I told him I had.
• The doctor asked me to remind him when I had to start teaching again. I said August 13th and he reiterated that I'd be fine by then. 
• The doctor asked if I felt like I was generally getting around pretty well. I said I was. He mentioned that if I wanted to, I could try just using one crutch, and gave me a brief demonstration of how this works. (Contrary to popular belief, the crutch goes on your good side, not your bad side.)
• The doctor asked how it was going with my kids. I confessed that I had put my son back in daycare, and that was a bit of a bummer, but that it was better this way. I then told him how I had come to the conclusion that it was carrying my son around that set this whole episode off in the first place.  
• The doctor said that I looked great and was recovering very nicely.

On a different note, I am currently reading the book Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely. It is actually for a book club I am in with a couple of other moms from around the neighborhood, but I'm enjoying it. (I'm guessing this isn't a top choice of book for book clubs, but this is what happens when your book club is overwhelming comprised of scientists.) The funny thing is that right before my appointment, and I mean literally right before, I read the part of the book about surgery, and how many of the surgeries that have been tested against placebo (which is not many) are actually no more helpful than placebo. I keep wondering if the surgeon actually did anything, or if he just made two incisions in my hip, sewed them back up, and then showed me pictures of hip arthroscopy from Shutterstock. I don't recall signing any consent forms to be in a clinical trial, but then again I wasn't exactly with it the morning of surgery. Well, whatever, if the pain goes away, who cares if it's just the placebo effect? Mind over matter.

Post Surgery: Two Weeks!

Time flies! It has been two full weeks since surgery, so... onto week 3! This is the halfway point to walking again, which is the only thing I really care about. What can I say, I have a one-track mind. :)

Unfortunately, as I try to summarize the day, three words keep coming to mind: House. Of. Pain. Ugh. That terrible pain I had all the way down my right leg last week returned with a vengeance and I've been miserable.

It was a busy day. My husband had a morning teleconference, so I took the kids to daycare/summer camp. I had a meeting with my Chair, so after dropping the kids off, I went up to my office, which is a trek from the parking lot. So. many. stairs. I met with the Chair for about 45 minutes and then did some work in my office for about 45 minutes before heading off to PT. The meeting went well, and without going into specific detail (I'm trying to keep this mostly about my hip), I did bring up how difficult the past semester had been for me because of the chronic pain from my hip. I mean, I'm not sure I even realized at the time just how much it was affecting me - my mood, my energy level, my general demeanor... My Chair mentioned in a roundabout way that I should have said something, and maybe I should have, but it's sort of an awkward subject, and I'm not the type of person who expresses my emotions outwardly.

Anyway.

PT was okay. The therapist was still sort of, eh, so-so, but I'm getting used to him. We cut out exercises that would require me to stand with all my weight on my left side, and that has helped my left hip. I also added in a new exercise that pretty much kicked my ass; it was basically like doing squats, only lying down. I'm so weak, this definitely inspires me to hit the weight room again once this ordeal is over. I told the therapist about my knee pain when I sit, and although he had absolutely no idea what it might be, he did show me how I can stretch out my quadriceps lying down, and that actually helped (or at least felt good at the time). That said, I definitely feel like it is something in PT that causes the pain down my leg, because both times now it has been after PT that it started. Or maybe it is just something about Mondays.

After PT, I stopped by my parents' house.  By the time I got home, I was pretty exhausted - both physically and emotionally - and tried to catch a quick nap before the kids got back.

Post Surgery: 1 Week + 6 Days

The highlight of the day was making the following discovery about the crutch bag that I ordered from crutcheze.com:

(Ohhhh, this changes everything! :))

Other than that, today was uneventful. It was hot, so we took the kids to the pool. I can't get into the pool, but I wanted to go just to hang out. As I mentioned earlier, I sort of miss the kids, especially my two-year-old. It has been hard to having him in daycare all day every day for the past few weeks. Unfortunately the pool was FREEZING, and even my son, who normally doesn't seem to notice things related to temperature, was cold. I was actually pretty comfy just sitting by the side of the pool with my legs in the water. Nevertheless, it seemed stupid to be at the pool with my daughter just lying by the side of the pool complaining how cold she was, so we ended up going back home and hanging out there.

Probably the biggest news of the day is that I decided that I'm done sleeping downstairs. I can now get up and down the stairs much better, and sleeping is going better than it was. Plus, it is sort of lonely downstairs with everyone else upstairs. The fact that I have had fierce insomnia has been keeping me from moving back into my bed, partly because I'm afraid I'll keep my husband awake and partly because I'm afraid he'll keep me awake. On the other hand, I've also gotten into a really unhealthy sleep cycle by sleeping separately because I've been staying up way too late. Normally I feel some sense of obligation to turn the light out if my husband is trying to sleep, but without him, I stay up forever. Also, knowing that I have plenty of down time during the day to take naps doesn't motivate me to get to bed at a decent hour, but that habit needs to stop because summer is winding down and before you know it, I'll be back to normal, and 'recovering from surgery' will no longer be a valid excuse for lying around all day. So moving back upstairs is my attempt to start easing back into normal, and part of that is re-establishing a normal bed time.

In hip news, my left hip is still hurting quite a bit, and I iced the hell out of it today. I'm going to talk to my PT about it tomorrow.

Post Surgery: 1 Week + 5 Days

Highlights:

• I noticed when I was taking my anti-inflammatory that it has a side of effect of possible dizziness or drowsiness. I wonder if this has anything to do with why I've been feeling sooooo tired. I know it's not psychological because I only noticed this possible side effect this morning, yet I feel like I have been complaining about being tired for, like, forever. I wonder how important it is for me to take an anti-inflammatory. Probably somewhat important is my guess.
• My left hip is hurting me to the point where I'm starting to get slightly alarmed. Only slightly, but still. This whole thing with my right hip started with minor, nagging pain as well. I DEFINITELY need to talk to my PT about it. I can't put my left hip in danger while rehabbing my right hip. In fact, I have an idea about what may have set my right hip off, and that is carrying my son around. As he got bigger and heavier, the extra weight really seemed to irritate my hip. When my hip was really bad, carrying him or even just trying to pick him up caused excruciating pain. I don't want my PT exercises to have the same effect as carrying around a 28-pound child. Considering I didn't tear my right labrum in a single, traumatic injury (at least not that I know of), I worry that my hip anatomy, combined with my fact that my left hip has the same history of activity as my right hip, might mean my left hip is a ticking time bomb. And trust me, I'm going to do everything I can to avoid going through all this again on the other side.
• My knee pain is getting to be really annoying. That is also something I need to talk to the PT about. When I get up from sitting down, my knee hurts so much I can't really put weight on it for about 30 seconds (which is longer than sounds; see my post about the 30-second cortisone injection). Fortunately, I don't have to because I am on crutches anyway, LOL. Nevertheless, it's mildly irritating, and I really don't feel like I've ever had this problem before. 
• Also, today is the first day since surgery that I've actually had significant pain in my right hip. Even though everything else has hurt, my hip has been fine until today. It is nothing extreme, just something worth noting.
• My wrists are really hurting from the crutches. Despite the extra padding, they feel bruised.

But enough with all that, I actually had a fun day. This afternoon, we took my daughter to the American Girl store, which is in a mall about an hour away. After the American Girl store, we went to the Lego store and the Body Shop, and then I sat down and rested while my husband took the kids to the Disney store. (I was pleasantly shocked that he managed to not buy anything, even in the absence of my disapproving glare.) I was reeaaallly tired and in a small amount of pain and huge amount of discomfort. Fortunately, I actually iced my left hip in the car on the way up, and I think that helped. After the brief mall adventure, we had a fairly early dinner and drove home. The trip was fun, but it really wore me out. The thing is that I would normally spend much more time with the kids over the summer, but now that they are in daycare/summer camp, I miss them. While I don't want to overdo things, I also don't want to miss out on all the Fun Stuff I normally would have done with them over the summer. And on the upside, while it's a pain in the ass going places on crutches, I've discovered that people tend to be a lot nicer to you. In fact, I have an important work meeting with the Chair of my department on Monday, and I hope the crutches can work some magic. :)

Post Surgery: 1 Week + 4 Days

It is funny, the first week after surgery seemed interminable, but this one has flown by. I'm almost halfway to walking again! At least I hope so. My hip still feels great. It is the other parts of me that are hurting. For example:

• The pain in my right leg returned last night, although it wasn't nearly as bad as it was on Tuesday.
• My left hip continues to be sore, which sort of worries me, but I'm trying not to think about it.
• Another thing I have noticed is that the way I have to sit now really hurts my knee, specifically the inside of my knee. I have sat with my legs crossed for as long as I can remember - see photo to the right. (This is me and my son on the airplane on the way back from vacation; who would have guessed that such a mundane photo would serve such a great purpose?) I know that sitting this way is not recommended, but obviously the recommended way of sitting (e.g.: http://www.womenshealthmag.com/files/wh6_uploads/wp_import/posture21.gif) doesn't work with my anatomy. Unfortunately, I can't sit in my usual way because of the no-flexion-past-90-degrees and no-external-rotation restrictions, so I'm stuck sitting normally. For once Dr. Google has absolutely no insight into why sitting with your legs uncrossed as opposed to crossed would cause pain.
• My back still hurts. I think this is due to the fact that I cannot stretch like I normally do. In fact, I think a lot of my pain is due to not stretching. Constant stretching is what normally keeps me in motion, and I can't do a lot of the stretches with all the limitations on my movement.

In other news:

• I was doing some PT exercises at home this evening. A lot of these involve putting full weight on my left side while exercising the right. In the interest of mild adventure and trying to not become too unbalanced, I decided to try exercising my left side while using my crutches so that not all my weight went onto my right hip. Um, epic fail. LOL. I very briefly had too much weight on my right side and I was sort of surprised by how much it hurt. This makes me worry a little bit about how the transition back to full weight bearing will go, but I'm trying not to think about it right now. Moral: Don't get too overzealous.
• I went upstairs and took a shower. It's getting a lot easier. I even came down the stairs standing up - albeit veeerrrrry sloooooowly. I had failure #3 as far as keeping my incisions dry, so I've pretty much given up on that. A little water in a wound isn't going to kill me. And anyway, I get my stitches out on Tuesday!

I went downtown this afternoon and met my mom for lunch. After lunch, we did a little shopping, and it felt good to get out. It's also getting much easier and less tiring for me to get around. The crutch pads I got are awesome and my armpits don't hurt at all. The only thing that hurts a little are the bases of my hands, but it's not too bad. I was SUPER TIRED when I got home, but I think a lot of it is because I was a lot more active today than I have been. Also, I had a glass of wine with lunch, and I swear it was the hugest three ounce glass of wine I've ever had before, which I'm sure didn't help my fatigue. But it's okay, it definitely helps keep my nerves and negative attitude in check. :)

Post Surgery: 1 Week + 3 Days

Not much to report today. After feeling very good yesterday after PT, the pain in my leg returned late last night. It definitely seems to be something about PT that sets it off. I took the PT's advice and took a pain pill around midnight. Despite the supposed soporific effects of hydrocodone, I did not sleep well.

My son went to daycare and my daughter had a morning play date, followed by an afternoon piano lesson at our house. I slept on the couch through a lot of the piano lesson, which didn't seem to be going very well. I think listening to a kid learn to play piano is much less painful than listening to a kid learn to play a screechy string instrument or an instrument you have blow into; nonetheless, it's surprising how many painful sounds can come out of a piano. LOL. After my nap, I felt better and even did a few hours of work for my class in the late afternoon/early evening. I want to get the course all ready ASAP so that my only concern will be getting in good enough shape to handle its physical demands.

Anyway, I feel pretty good right now. PT is definitely tiring me out and making me a bit sore, but I know it's one of those things where you have to feel worse to get better. I'm trying to stay hydrated and I hope to get some sleep tonight.

Post Surgery: 1 Week + 2 Days

Today was a much better day. My leg felt much better, and I heard back from my surgeon's assistant this afternoon, who told me to be sure to drink a lot of water. Argh, dehydration. I've never been very good about drinking enough water, and it has only gotten worse since surgery because A. it is very hard to carry liquids around; and B. going to the bathroom is a huge pain! Maybe I'm subconsciously dehydrating myself to avoid having to pee all the time. I actually had a conversation about this with my daughter's piano teacher, who also happens to be the music teacher at my daughter's school. She said she never drinks water during the day simply because she doesn't get a break until lunchtime so she can't be having to pee all morning.

I think I actually did okay staying hydrated the first two days after surgery because my throat was soooo sore that drinking water made it much more comfortable to swallow, plus at that point I was out of it enough that people were waiting on me, and I just asked for water rather than having to get it myself. Not so much anymore. :_( lol

On a different yet related note, after my son was born, we decided to move out of our two-bedroom house. Since our kids are young, we wanted a house with three bedrooms all on the same level, which was harder to find than it sounds. We wanted to stay in our neighborhood - an older neighborhood with houses built mostly in the early 1900s. Most of the houses with three bedrooms on the same floor are large Victorians, and out of our price range, so we had very limited options. At any rate, there was a house that we seriously considered that met our bedroom criterion, only it didn't have a bathroom on the main level. This ended up being a deal breaker because my mother-in-law has limited mobility, especially when it comes to stairs, and because I was envisioning potty training in the near future, and thought it would be a pain to have to go upstairs to the bathroom with a little one all the time. Little did I know that a few years later, I'd be the one so dependent on a main-level bathroom.

Anyway.

The highlight of today was PT. In case it wasn't obvious, I have been feeling very negative about PT, but decided that I need to go in with a more positive attitude. I do feel like a lot the stuff I am doing is stuff I could do on my own, but at the same time, I think it is good for my mood to get out of the house and have social interaction. And to be fair, the reality is there's not much you can do without putting full weight on your hip or flexing your thigh past 90 degrees. I don't want to give up on PT totally because I do think that a few weeks down the road I'm really going to need some guidance - coming off crutches (seriously that's going to be weird after a month - do you just go cold turkey or what?) and trying to get myself ready for my week-long course (a major source of stress, but I'm trying not to think about it). If nothing else, I'm going to need some kick ass inspiration.

If there is one thing I have learned from reading blogs by people who deal with medical issues, it's that you have to be your own advocate. I mean, I knew this already, but reading blogs has really driven this point home. It's sort of sad that people who can't be their own advocates (or kids who don't have parents who are good advocates) don't get the best care, but in reflecting upon this, I think it works the same way in education, particularly at large, public institutions. I always tell students - in fact I even have a spiel about it in my syllabus - that they have to take responsibility for their own education. If they are confused or unhappy or angry or hate me or whatever, it's their job to let me know, otherwise how am I supposed to read their minds? I follow this up by telling them that I took a psychological test where you try to identify the emotions on people's faces, and apparently I can't even do that, so at any given point, I have no F-ing idea what they are thinking. (Okay, so I omit the F-ing part.) They think this is funny. So I guess advocating for one's self is just the reality of human existence - either that or karma biting me in the ass big time.

With this in mind, I had pre-formulated explanations for a bunch of different scenarios if PT didn't work out for me today. The major options are: A. not do PT (which I decided against for reasons previously discussed); B. do PT, but at a different place (which is a crap shoot; no guarantee it's going to be better, although I did have a great therapist at a different place who worked on my knee several years ago); or C. do PT at the same place but with a different therapist (which can be awkward, especially in a PT center with a completely open floor plan). I really wanted to avoid any of these, but again, you have to do what is best for yourself. However, I also had to keep in mind what I tell my students, and that is that you get out of something what you put into it.

Fortunately, PT was much better; I feel like the therapist was much less distracted and able to at least talk to me about... stuff. Not that I'm even super needy in that way - I'm not too into random chit-chat, and as a student once wrote about me on an evaluation, Whenever I tried to talk to her about something I thought was interesting, she seemed distant and hateful. LOL. I really do not think of myself this way, but it is probably an indication that I am not a warm, fuzzy, super friendly type. At the same time, I do enjoy social interaction, and probably the only thing worse than being alone in my house all day is going to PT and being in room full of people and still feeling completely alone, which is the way I felt the past two sessions.

The sort of funny thing is that when I went in today, a different therapist came and got me and I thought that the one I had worked with on Monday must have felt the same way about me as I did about him and was ditching me, which was okay with me. The 'new' therapist was not very attentive, so I spent the first 20 minutes sort of sitting around waiting for someone to tell me what to do in between heel raises and calf stretches. I seriously almost left at one point. I mean, come on, they tell you to do two sets of 20 of all these exercises; how long do they really think that takes?! Most things they tell you to hold for 3-5 seconds; at the longest, that's 20 x 5 = 100 x 2 = 200 seconds, which is just over three minutes. Fortunately, after 20 minutes of doing pretty much nothing, the original therapist came over; apparently he was just running behind and had asked another PT to get me started, only she didn't really know what I was supposed to be doing. I feel like the therapist was making an extra effort to connect, and since I was too, it was much better.

Things we talked about:

• He mentioned he knew PT was not very 'exciting' at this point, but there wasn't a lot we could do right now due to my restrictions. However, he said it would get better. He also said a lot of people were feeling really good by four weeks and most didn't have much problem making the transition from crutches to walking. I told him about my class starting on August 13th so he at least has that in his head now as my deadline. I mean, I know I'm not going to be 100% by then, in fact far from it, but I do want to aim for that as a 100% walking-without-crutches date for sure.
• I talked to him about the pain I felt yesterday, and he said we should keep an eye on it. He wasn't overly concerned but he didn't blow me off, either. And since I feel much better today, I don't feel overly concerned anymore. He said it could just be that my body was freaking out a little because surgery can do that; it could be pain itself that was causing more pain. He mentioned that even people with high pain tolerances could experience 'weird things' as a result of the pain cycle, even if they didn't feel like they were in pain to begin with (if that makes sense - it did to me, anyway). He also said that while he wasn't pushing pain medication, I should consider it in this case. Somehow taking pain medication at this point seems like going backwards, but I'm trying not to be Irrational Tough Girl.
• I mentioned that some of the exercises hurt my other hip. He asked if I thought I might have the same issue in my left hip as my right. I must have given him A Look, because he quickly said, 'You don't want to go there, do you?' I said I couldn't even think about that right now, even though I know it is a real possibility. I also mentioned my knee problems, but then told him I didn't want to think about it right now, either. He respected that. At the same time, I think it's good for him to be aware of my other issues.
• At the end of the session, I get to ice and that's my favorite part. Plus they have this high tech (and I'm sure very expensive) machine that provides cold and compresses you as well. It feels soooo nice, and it's really relaxing. I just lie there and try to de-stress and go to my happy place and enjoy the relief of the cold. The funny thing is that today while I was icing the therapist came over and said he felt bad because everyone else in the room was in one area and I was all by myself. It's as if he read my mind (or my blog, ha ha). I don't mind being by myself and ignored while I'm lying there icing, but it was nice of him.

After PT, I went to the farmers market with my parents. It was POURING rain, but we eventually managed to get inside and get a drink. :) A few people commented how die hard I must be to be out on crutches in the rain. I didn't tell them I am not actually that die hard about fresh vegetables, but that I really wanted a drink.

Post Surgery: 1 Week + 1 Day

Today was by far the worst day since last Monday. I woke up feeling okay and then tried to do some work. Unfortunately, making my home office into a suitable place to actually be able to do work was one of my projects for the summer, and this is a project that I didn't quite finish pre-surgery. As a result, it is a hazardous area for someone who has trouble sitting in one position for very long and is on crutches. I'm not sure if I just sat too long or if my chair/seating area is just super uncomfortable, but when I got up to feed my daughter and her friend lunch, I noticed that my right leg was aching. It was a dull but intense pain and at first was just uncomfortable. As I described it to my doctor in a e-mail: The pain is very hard to describe; it is sort of like your muscles feel right before you get a really bad cramp combined with the feeling you get when a limb 'wakes up' after being asleep. It is extremely uncomfortable and does not seem to improve with sitting, standing, walking, stretching, rubbing, etc. I guess this is a test for my doctor. I feel like orthopedists have a reputation for blowing you off once they've made their big bucks operating on you, so we'll see if he gets back to me.

My mom came by to visit around 2:30 and when she left around 4:00, my discomfort was increasing. By the time my husband got home around 5:30, I wouldn't say I was in agony, but I was EXTREMELY uncomfortable. We drove my daughter's friend home and her parents invited us to stay for dinner, but I feel like I was a terrible guest because I just couldn't get comfortable and was crabby the whole time. I felt like I might get sick because I felt so weird. Plus it is a weird type of pain I don't think I've ever felt before, which makes it hard to deal with, like during childbirth. Not that it hurt nearly as much as childbirth, just that childbirth makes you feel pain you've never encountered before so you don't know how to deal with it.

Anyway, I have physical therapy tomorrow, so I'll see what the PT says about it, if anything. I'm not holding out hope he'll be of any use, but I'm willing to give him one more chance before I ditch him.

Another thing worth noting is that ever since the surgery, when I stand up after going to the bathroom, my hip pops. (Sorry if that is TMI, but it does seem to be an issue specific to toilets. LOL.) It doesn't hurt, yet, it pops. That's how so much of this began - with the return of my snapping hips.

In better news, my GI issues seem to have resolved themselves. Also, I went upstairs and took a shower without incident, although I had failure #3 as far as trying to keep my stitches dry. I still had to come down the stairs on my butt, but it didn't hurt nearly as bad as the first time.

I feel a little better now as I lie here write this with ice on my back, so hopefully I'll feel much better tomorrow.

* * * * *
It is also worth noting that this is the day I actually started this blog: July 15th. I wanted a project to keep my mind occupied, and thought it would be fun. However, since I wanted to go in chronological order, I had to start from the beginning with the History of my Hips.

Post Surgery: One Week

It is actually sort of hard for me to believe it has only been a week post-surgery. Although I have been feeling good, generally speaking, the last week seemed reeeaaaaallly long. The weekend in particular seemed to be very, very long after the depressive funk that set in on Friday.

Anyway, today was uneventful and unproductive considering how unmotivated I am to do work. Both kids went to daycare/summer camp and my husband was working, so I was alone for most of the day, which never does much for one's morale. I ended up reading a blog by a woman just a few years younger than I am, who tore her labrum about five years ago and has basically been living Hell on Earth ever since. It concludes with her getting a total hip replacement and then photo-blogging her year-long recovery on Flickr. There's a semi-happy ending in that she got engaged during the ordeal and now has a baby, but still. Phew. It made me feel very lucky. On the other hand, her story started off something like mine - active woman in her 30s undergoes what she believes to be routine hip arthroscopy to fix a torn labrum, expecting to be fully recovered in 3-6 months. And then... it doesn't turn out that way. So perhaps I should not be congratulating myself just yet. LOL. By the time I finished reading her blog, I was happy to have to go to PT just to get out of the house. Don't get me wrong, her attitude was actually very inspirational, otherwise I'm sure I couldn't have read through her five years of trauma, it's just freaky to think that one moment you can be working out in a gym and the next you are starting down the road to permanent disability/pain. I pray that is not my fate. But if it is, then it is.

FYI: http://meandmyhipster-sj.blogspot.com/

Physical therapy was okay, although I liked the therapist even less than the one I had on Friday. Either this place I'm going to now hires really awful PTs or I've just gotten insanely lucky with the PTs I've had in the past. At any rate, the session pretty much kicked my ass. The PT kept telling me that if something hurt I shouldn't do it. The thing is that it didn't hurt exactly, it just made me feel weird and/or hurt other parts of my body that were not my operated upon hip. Not to mention, it just fatigued me in general. I don't know if that's okay or not? And I feel like that's sort of the PT's job - to tell me what's okay and what's not.

For example, I did a bunch of standing up exercises. I could only do these on one side because I can't put full weight on my right side. It ended up with my left hip and knee really hurting (My left knee has a history of Bad Behavior, which I know makes me sound like a complete wreck, but I can assure you that most people who know me would describe me as pretty active and healthy person.). My left side, especially my hip, already hurt quite a bit, hopefully just because I have been favoring my left side for so long, but... who knows? I know I have very shallow hip sockets, which led an orthopedist in the past to tell me I'd need a total hip replacement in both hips by the time I was 30 (see: The History of my Hips), so there's not necessarily any reason to think I won't have the same problems on my left side as on my right - though I certainly hope that isn't the case! Whatever the case may be, I don't want to over-stress my left side because I'd hate to think that rehabbing my right hip would lead to me needing surgery on my left hip. But at the same time, if the pain is normal, then I can deal with it. Also, I mentioned that I had major back pain after the surgery. This isn't new; I've had major back pain for a long time, and in fact it is back pain that finally drove me out of diving for good. Since the surgery, some of the worst pain has been in my back. Some of the exercises I did today really hurt my back, and either the PT didn't want to deal with this or didn't know how. He sort of chalked it up to, 'Well once your hip is healed your back pain will go away.' So... okay? Does this mean I should push through the back pain or not? I think this is why I enjoyed reading the blog I mentioned earlier; this woman has severe pain in her back and shoulder and arm, which she KNOWS is related to her hip pain, yet no one will deal with this. I feel the frustration. I mean, I get that people are now highly specialized to just deal with one body part, but I also know that everything is connected, and if neither orthopedists nor PTs are willing to address this, then who?

On a different note, I knew that I was limited to '50% weight bearing' for four weeks, which is why I have to be on crutches so stinking long. However, I guess I never really thought about what '50%' meant before. In my mind, I had sort of concluded that it meant '50% of normal.' However, as the therapist explained today, if I am standing with equal weight on both legs, that's '50%,' which, duh, is logical, that's just not the way I thought of it. (I felt better after telling both my mom and husband about this, and neither one of them interpreted '50%' in this way, either. Seriously, patient education is really lacking in a lot of cases. I know I'm not a genius, but I think I have at least average intelligence, which means that if I can't figure something out, about half of the rest of the people in my situation can't either.)

Considering it has hurt really bad to put weight on my right hip for I don't even know how long, I think it has probably been almost a year since I've stood with equal weight on both legs. I was forced to do so for the first time in foooorreeeever today, and it actually felt okay. Now I am making a conscious effort to stand with equal weight on both legs.

Anyway, I feel like overall I feel so good and so optimistic, yet physical therapy makes me come home feeling depressed, and I cry on and off for the evening. Maybe it's just coincidence, but at the same time I feel like PT should not be making me feel worse. In my dream world, I'd hope for it to make me feel better, but at the very least it should make me feel nothing in particular.

On a different note, I thought my GI tract had returned to normal this morning, although shortly afterward I realized I was still having distress. Ugh. That distress continued into this evening. I'll spare you the details.

Also, I have had no appetite all day. Right before PT, I forced myself to eat something because I figured I'd probably pass out if I didn't eat anything. I ate about four bites, but it was very difficult. I don't know if the lack of appetite is due to stress or related to the GI distress or how difficult it is to actually feed oneself while on crutches or something else. The really hard thing is that I've gained a lot weight since this ordeal began because I've been really inactive for the past seven months or so. So in a way, I welcome this lack of appetite, because I'd really love to lose about seven pounds. I know that's vain and not a healthy attitude, but I'm just being honest.

This concludes tonight's pity party. Really, it hasn't been this bad all day. Something just happened tonight that really set me off, and I have no idea what it was. However, tomorrow is a new day, and hopefully I'll be better by then.

Post Surgery: Day 6

Highlights:

• I'm still feeling good as far as my hip is concerned, although still really tired all the time.
• I started to take a vitamin again. Not that I know I'm vitamin deficient or anything, but I was taking it prior to surgery and it seemed to help. Maybe it was just placebo, but... whatever. By the way, you CAN overdose on vitamins, so I'm not taking a vitamin with the attitude that 'it can't hurt.' It's just that I've been vitamin deficient in the past, and I don't really feel like having a lot of blood work done at this point.
• Late this morning, around 11:00, I felt so crappy I thought I might diiiiieeeee. Okay so not really, but I thought I might have the flu or something. However, after a little rest I decided it might be exhaustion or dehydration. After resting and hydrating, I felt a little better.
• Maybe I'm just trying to do too much too soon? I've been measuring how much I can do by how much pain it brings on, and nothing seems to bring on much pain, so I keep going. On the other hand, while my hip feels good, other parts of me seem to be suffering.
• Also, I'm on a new anti-inflammatory (diclofenac) that seems to be bringing on a little bit of GI distress. I was on a different anti-inflammatory the first four days (ketorolac) and then started the diclofenac. A pharmacist friend explained to me that the risk of serious side effects goes up a huge amount after five days on ketorolac, so no doctors prescribe it for more than a few days. However, it is usually very well tolerated short-term so you often start off on it and then transition before the risk kicks in. 
• At first the GI distress was a welcome change from the apparently constipating effects of surgery, but now it's sort of annoying. 
• One of my daughter's favorite games to play is Sorry! which she plays with both of her grandmothers. I've been telling her for a while now that I'll buy it so we have it in our house, too. After lying around in a semi-delirious state all morning and then dozing through the World Cup finals (I was so tired, I couldn't figure out why Angela Merkel was celebrating when Argentina scored, but it turns out that I had the teams backwards the whole game - OOPS!), I finally mustered up the energy to drive my daughter downtown to the toy store and buy Sorry! Plus, she talked me out of another game, too. I don't mind, though, because I like playing games, and we don't have that many. In addition to using this 'down time' to do work that I might otherwise not have done, I'm trying to use it as quality time to spend with my daughter that I otherwise wouldn't have spent with her.
• My afternoon outing downtown was the major event of the day. On the way home, we stopped by my parents' house. My dad remarked that I had seemed really tired ever since going to the farmers market on Wednesday, and perhaps that wasn't the best idea, and I couldn't disagree.
• But, whatever.
• Part of me thinks the solution to being overly tired is more rest, and the other part of me thinks that being idle leads to fatigue and depression ( = feeling overly tired) so... I don't know.
• I probably just need to give everything more time. But as I've mentioned before, I am an extremely impatient person.

Post Surgery: Day 5

Highlights:

• I'm feeling a little more pain/discomfort than before, but I think that's because I'm doing a lot more. Also, a lot of the pain is not in my hip itself, but in my opposite hip, and my back. However, this was the case before the surgery as well so it's nothing new.
• It's nothing unbearable, it's still very minimal, and I still feel very good considering. However, it does drive home the point that despite my initial feelings of awesomeness, I have a long recovery ahead to get back to normal. It's okay, though, I'm still feeling optimistic. I still feel way better than I had imagined feeling less than one week after surgery.
• But I am tired. All the time. Maybe I need to take a vitamin or something. Or maybe I need to rest more. There's a novel idea. LOL.
• I took another shower today, this time in the tub downstairs because I was too tired to go upstairs. It was quite an ordeal getting in and out, but my husband helped me.
• I used saran wrap to try to keep my incisions dry and had failure #2.
• When I redid the dressing, I put a couple extra layers on. When I took the original dressing off, I thought all the layers were overkill, but I now realize how helpful they were as far as preventing pain just from being bumped and poked, something my kids seem to have mastered. Although the incisions aren't that big, they're still more significant than I originally gave them credit for.
• I cooked dinner tonight, and it felt good just because it was a first, and it also helped my husband out. I know this can't be easy for him; in fact, I know from experience that it can be harder to be on the other side. I definitely needed some help, but it was minimal. My husband brought one of our bar stools up from the basement so I could sit at our kitchen island while doing all the prep work. My parents bought us these nice bar stools back when we actually had a breakfast bar in our kitchen - three houses and two states ago. Even though they have never worked in a house since then, I just can't get rid of them because they're really nice. I was happy to be able to put one to use.
• Sometimes I freak out when I think that I have more than three more weeks of this.
• I'm also having a hard time believing that I'm going to 'be fine' by August 13th. 
• But I'm trying to not get too far ahead of myself.

Post Surgery: Day 4

Highlights:

• I drove today!
• It didn't hurt. At least, it didn't hurt that much. Driving had already become sort of painful for me before surgery and I don't think it was any worse today than before.
• I got the kids to daycare/summer camp. This was out of necessity due to my husband's work schedule, but it was a feeling of accomplishment nonetheless. My doctor had said that I could drive once I was off the pain meds, and I haven't taken a pain pill since Tuesday morning.
• I started physical therapy.
• After I dropped the kids off, I went to work, since the kids go to daycare/summer camp at the university, and the university is halfway between my house and physical therapy. At the beginning of the summer, I had not planned on having hip surgery, so all my stuff was up in my office. In my last-minute frenzy to prepare for surgery, the one thing I forgot to do was go up to the university and get all my stuff so I could work from home.
• Because I teach science, and science books weigh, like, 30 pounds each, I needed help getting four books plus all my notebooks from my office to my car. If that sounds super wimpy, keep in mind this is a college campus, and there is long, hilly trek involved between where I can park and where my office is.
• Fortunately, I have a couple of awesome colleagues who helped me carry everything down to my car. I hate asking for help, but sometimes you just have to.
• We left my office promptly at 11:30, and I didn't pull out of the parking lot until 11:50, that's how slow I am and how long things take.
• As a result, I was sort of late for PT. I mean, I was supposed to be there at noon to do paperwork, although my appointment wasn't until 12:15 so I'm not sure how late I actually ended up being. I think I pulled into the parking lot at a little past noon, then I'm sure it took me at least ten minutes to get up to the third floor, then go the bathroom, and get a drink of water. I totally had to go to the bathroom when I left work, but I didn't because the bathroom is about 200 yards from my office and it was too much work. (Okay, so I guess I am super wimpy, LOL.) We did go past it on the way out, but I didn't want to go while my colleagues were waiting for me. Stupid, but some things are just embarrassing.
• Physical therapy was okay. I have mixed feelings about PT. In some cases, I've felt like PT is glorified training room stuff, and in others, I've had really great and knowledgeable therapists who were definitely the main factor in my recovery. I mean, coming from an athletic background, I've gone through a lot of PT sessions where we didn't do anything that I wasn't doing on my own already just from working with my coaches. Today was one of those sessions, although I guess it is hard to do much more than isometric exercises when you aren't bearing full weight on the affected limb. However, the therapist was just sort of so-so. She told me she only worked on Fridays, so I was sure not to schedule any more appointments on Fridays, which aren't the best for me anyway.
• The therapist encouraged me to take my pain meds and told me I should not be driving, which didn't sit that well with me. For one, my doctor specifically said it was okay if I drove if I was not taking pain meds, which is actually one reason I stop taking them as soon as I felt my pain was manageable. Don't get me wrong, I am not anti-pain medication; pain medication is a godsend when the alternative is being in a massive amount of unbearable pain. I've just never been huge into any sorts of medication, and I'm somewhat paranoid about becoming addicted to a medication the same way I'm paranoid about falling down stairs. Thus, I tend not to take a medication unless something is really horrid, or taking the medication can make something annoying go away very quickly (e.g., antibiotics for strep throat). 
• If I'm doing an exercise and the therapist asks me how it feels, and I say it 'hurts a little,' I don't think it merits a lecture on taking my pain meds. I'm pretty sure I know when I need them. I did take them the first day just because I was afraid of what would happen when the feeling returned to my leg, and I wanted to be ahead of the game, but I think that risk of severe pain is over.
• When I got home, I was sooooo tired. Or sooooo something not good. I've been in sort of a funk (including a few minutes of private tears) all afternoon and evening.
• I'm not sure why. I don't know if it is just fatigue or work depression (that is a different story, but never mind that, this is just about my hip :)). I think part of it is that I feel good enough to get back into doing some of my normal stuff, which a few days ago was awesome. However, now that I'm over the initial euphoria of OMG I FEEL GREAT! life is just ho-hum normal crappy stuff, only with the added inconvenience of the fact that all of this ho-hum normal crappy stuff is 20x harder and more tiring for me and I accomplish 1/20th of what I would normally. Like, I feel way too good to lie around just reading or watching DVDs or doing whatever, but at the same time, trying to live normally and accomplish a normal day's worth of work is exhausting.

Post Surgery: Day 3

Highlights:

• I still feel really good, although a little more sore and tired as I start doing more stuff.
• I changed the dressing over my stitches. 
• It wasn't as gross as I thought it would be, although the holes were bigger than I had imagined they would be considering my lack of pain. I think just seeing how big the holes were made me feel more pain, ha ha. 
• I also took a shower. My post-op instructions said not to shower for four days, which is sort of gross considering all the nasty stuff that's probably in a surgical center. I figured that including the day of surgery, this was sort of Day 4.
• I debated whether or not to change the dressing before or after the shower. Afterwards seemed more logical, but then when I saw how much dressing and bandaging they had put on, I thought there was no way I could cover all that up. (It's still not supposed to get wet.) Plus, I thought maybe I could scrub off some of the sticky stuff all over my leg in the shower. Unfortunately, the new dressing got totally soaked in the shower.
• Showering involved going upstairs to the only shower in the house that isn't associated with a bathtub. I debated which would be worse, going upstairs or trying to get into the bathtub downstairs. I decided on going upstairs, which turned out to be a good decision. Going UP was fine. Coming down I followed my doctor's suggestion and slid on my butt, and that was a little rough (on both my hip and my shorts), but I think my comfort in the shower made up for it. Confession: I used a shower chair. How embarrassing, I have now used a shower chair in my 30s. However, one of my friends made me feel better by telling me that in college, she and her friends sometimes used a shower chair when they were too hungover to stand in the shower. At least my situation seems a little more legitimate than that. :)
• The entire shower ordeal (including the dressing change), from start to finish, took about two hours! It is definitely a challenge for me to adjust to how long it takes me to do things. I am normally the type of person who is always in a hurry - sometimes for no particular reason other than that I'm high strung and impatient. In a way, being forced to slow down might be good for me.
• My arms are killing me. It's not just the crutches rubbing them, but also the fact that my arms are weak, and tire easily.

Post Surgery: Day 2

I was a little worried that after such a good day yesterday, pent up pain would unleash itself on me, but I woke up feeling really good. I have a small amount of pain/soreness, maybe a little worse than yesterday, but it was still very minimal, especially considering the last pain pill I took was almost 24 hours ago. I started trying to move my leg around, and that did hurt a little, but not significantly more than it did before the surgery.

I also FINALLY managed to get some sleep. I have trouble sleeping anyway, and usually toss and turn a lot. Knowing that I will not be able to toss and turn is a mental block for me, ha ha. However, I discovered I could sleep on my good side, and that's a lot more comfortable than on my back, where it is basically impossible for me to keep my leg from flopping out into external rotation (which is another thing I'm not supposed to do). Apparently there are contraptions to prevent this from happening, but I guarantee I'd never be able to sleep like this: http://highschoolandhipsurgery.blogspot.com/2011/08/3-bs.html. Since my hip problem began to escalate, I've alternated between side and back sleeping. On the one hand, back sleeping makes me wake up less sore, but on the other hand, I sleep better on my side curled up (probably because that's how I had to lie/sleep on bed rest while pregnant, so I'm used to it). Now, if I stick a pillow between my legs and roll onto my left side, just like I did while on bed rest, it is pretty comfortable.

Other highlights of the day:

• The crutch pads and crutch bag I ordered yesterday came today, even though I didn't do a rush order or anything. So. Worth. It. If you should ever find yourself on crutches for more than, like, a week, I highly recommend crutcheze.com.
• My husband had an out-of-town meeting and had to leave the house early. I managed to get up, get myself dressed, get the kids dressed, get the kids breakfast, and get them out the door, all by 8:30 (at which point my dad came by to take them to daycare/summer camp). That did tire me out, so I lay back down after that, but then got up about half an hour later and actually did some work. I was feeling that good.
• I was stir crazy for most of the afternoon. I knew I must be feeling really good because I didn't want to sit and read or watch a DVD or do mindless Internet surfing or even take a nap. I ventured outside and I was pleasantly surprised by how easy it was to get down the stairs using the many 'how to navigate stairs on crutches' directions from Google. (I like this one, even though I don't have a broken ankle: http://www.upmc.com/patients-visitors/education/rehab/pages/stair-climbing-with-crutches.aspx). It really helped having full feeling in my leg. I was glad I didn't try to go outside yesterday when my leg was still numb and not really capable of moving on its own.
• I felt so good and so cabin feverish that I went to the farmers market with parents in the afternoon, mostly so I could have a drink. LOL. The farmers market is held at an old school that has now been converted into a brewery and a number of other hipsterish type places. (By the way, I have a bad hip, but I am not a hipster.) However, whenever I find myself kid-free on Wednesday afternoons, I like to go buy locally-grown veggies and have an afternoon dose of anti-anxiety medication :). I think my mom was surprised when I told her I was feeling well enough to go. That said, it was VERY TIRING, and instead of 'walking' back to the car, which was only a block away, my parents had to come and pick me up next to the food wagon at the entrance of the market. It felt really good to get out, though.
• Not surprisingly, my left hip (the good one) has started to hurt, to the extent that I actually got confused about which hip was the bad one when I was going down the stairs at the farmers market. (Admittedly, the drink probably didn't help. ;-)). After one step and lots of pain, I realized my mistake. It reminded me that I even though I feel good, I have a ways to go still.
• My doctor called me to check in. He gave me some more details about the surgery, since I'm sure I was more coherent than the last time he saw me. He said that the tear, although not big, was at the very top ('at 12 o'clock, for lack of a better description'), which can make the hip joint unstable. Although he saw no signs of arthritis, he did have to remove some bits of articular cartilage that had broken off, in addition to anchoring the labrum. Then he remarked that he had tested my hips while I was under (trying to imagine this is one part horrifying and two parts hilarious) and added, 'You are soooooo flexible!' Followed by, 'Were you a gymnast?' Indeed. Unfortunately, my stellar flexibility did not make up for my paralyzing fear of the Yurchenko vault.
• The doctor remembered that I had concerns about getting around my house and asked how that it was going. I told him I hadn't even tried the stairs yet and confessed to my fall. Fortunately, he didn't make a huge deal out of it, though he seemed upset I had ruined the DVD, ha ha. He also remembered I was teaching an 8-5 course in August and asked me to remind him of the exact date. When I told him August 13th, he reiterated that wouldn't be a problem and 'We'll get you off crutches and feeling fine by then.'
• I hope he's right. I've heard stories about people who felt 'wined and dined' by their surgeons, and then sort of abandoned once the surgery didn't turn out the way they had hoped. 
• I hope my story doesn't end that way.