3... 2... 1

So wow, it has been a while. I've been insanely busy and insanely stressed out, way too stressed out to form coherent enough thoughts to write in a public blog. And for the first time in a long time, I can't blame it on insomnia. Over the past 10 days, I've slept like a baby for at least five hours a night with either melatonin only, or nothing at all. Just because I feel like all hell is going to break loose this week, I feel like I should do a quick recap of what I've been up to since I last wrote.

• Last Tuesday, I wrapped up my five-day intensive human biology course. I think it went fine, but... after six years of teaching in higher ed, I've learned that you just never know. So... whatever. Part of my insane stress levels over the past week have been due to trying to coordinate with the colleague who is going to be covering the first six weeks of class for me. Let me just say that I'm fully prepared for really horrible evaluations this semester. 
• On Wednesday, I went to work in the morning, then went to get the CT scan that Dr. T had requested. (So I guess things are on? Seriously, I don't really know where we are right now, and it's a good thing I've been so busy, or I'm sure I'd be annoying Dr. T so much that he would be changing his mind about accepting me as a patient right about now.) Fortunately I didn't have to drive all the way to University Hospital, but was able to get the scan done at a UH clinic about 45 minutes away. I left plenty of time to arrive by 1:45 for my 2:00 appointment, though after driving around suburbia for 15 minutes, I actually ended up getting there right around 1:45. Fortunately, they were quite prompt, and the scan was fast - even with the IV and contrast dye and everything, I was back on the road by 2:15. Pretty impressive!
• I made it back into town in time to join my husband for a 3:00 appointment with a lawyer to talk about redoing our will, power of attorney, and getting an advance medical directive. That was actually a fairly depressing conversation, although the lawyers kept it light-hearted, which was a good thing. I mean, let's face it, this isn't a conversation anyone really wants to have, regardless of the circumstances, so I'm sure they are used to trying to maintain an appropriate mood. After the meeting, I raced off to pick my son up at daycare while my husband stayed to pay the bill. LOL. In case you are curious, the basic 'will package' is $1,200, which was much less than I feared after walking into the swanky office in the heart of downtown ( = expensive real estate). 
• On Thursday, I went into work, and FINALLY met face-to-face with the woman who is covering my class for me while I'm gone. See bullet point #1. I'll hold off on commenting further for now. I left around 2:15 to go pick my daughter up from school, then drive back up to get my son at the university daycare, and take both the kids to a make-up gymnastics lesson, because we missed Wednesday's lesson. We got home just in time to head off to a beginning-of-the-year department party downtown. It also happened to be the same night as the open house at my daughter's school. So, my husband went to the party for an hour, then left to go to the open house.
• On Friday, I went into work for a few hours, hoping to get my syllabus printed off, but didn't. See bullet point above and bullet point #1. I left at 11:15 to go get my hair chopped off. Almost seven inches!! I really wanted to grow it long enough to donate it to a wig cause, but I wanted it gone. I needed a change. I usually just get my hair cut at a cheapie place but figured I needed a 'real' hairdresser with references (LOL) if I were going to go from having hair halfway down my back to a total butch do. So I went to my mom's hairdresser, and invited her along. Afterward, she took me out to lunch, and we had a really nice time. I think she appreciated being a part of this small but yet rather big moment. I haven't had really short hair in about 15 years, and I'm absolutely positive I still wouldn't have really short hair if I weren't having a mastectomy on Wednesday. 
• After lunch, I raced back up to work, said 'fuck it,' typed some shit into my syllabus without the approval of my substitute teacher, and printed it off just in time to get my son at daycare before 4:30. 
• Saturday was my son's birthday, and I somehow managed to pull off the most last-minute party EVER (thank you Whole Foods!) at the swimming pool. Even low-key parties are a lot of work! But I'm glad I did it. My son turned four, and is starting to understand the concept of a birthday party. He had been requesting a Spider Man birthday cake for a very long time, and it would have been sad to have had a Spider Man cake with no party.
• Since the party was just as much for the adults in my son's life as it was for him, we had pear sangria at the party, which kind of ruined me for the rest of the day. LOL. I had enough to drink that I actually went off the diving board. Fortunately, I had not had enough to drink that I agreed to try the crazy shit all the other people who had also had a lot of sangria were telling me to do. But God was I sore last night... and today, too. 
• Today I cleaned, cleaned, cleaned, and cleaned. Our house is a disaster, and I just feel really unsettled going off for surgery and knowing I'm not going to be able to do much for, like, a month, with the house being such a train wreck. My mom actually came over and helped a lot by sorting through a huge pile of clothes that has been sitting on our dining room table for several weeks now. I guess it has been annoying her. LOL. One of my husband's colleagues gave us four trash bags full of hand-me-down clothes, for which we are absolutely grateful! Nonetheless, going through them is always a task, and one I just haven't found the time for, so my mom was a super help!
• Tomorrow... I have to teach. Even though I'm going to be gone after tomorrow, my colleague and I thought it best if I did the first day of class, seeing as how the classes are ultimately my classes. Plus, I want the students to know who I am when I return in October. I'd rather them think of my colleague as my substitute rather than me being her substitute. Plus, the first day of class is important, and... um... I trust myself more than I trust her. I haven't quite figured out what I'm going to tell my students tomorrow, but figure I have six hours of sleeplessness to figure it out. Ha. 

Somewhere in all of this, my daughter started 4th grade. I thank God she got the teacher she wanted and has some of her best buddies in her class with her. We had a little bit of a rough start centered around a few things that are ongoing issues, but things are going better now. I pray this surgery doesn't upset the apple cart so to speak.

On a final note, I wanted to share something that a colleague did for me that was super nice. She had mentioned to me that her teenage daughter loved kids and volunteered her to babysit for us if my husband and I wanted to go out for a nice dinner before my surgery. As it turns out, said daughter ended up watching our kids during the department party on Thursday night. I had originally planned for the kids to come with us, since it was supposedly a 'kid-friendly' party. However, after asking around, I discovered no one else was bringing their kids. So, my colleague said her daughter didn't want to go to the party, but would happily watch my kids for us at our house while we were all at the party. That seemed like a good arrangement, and we agreed to that as an alternative to us going out over the weekend. My colleague made it sound like she was volunteering her daughter and I didn't need to pay her, but I felt uncomfortable being a charity cause, especially given that I don't know her daughter. And while I was sure she was a lovely person, given that my colleague is a lovely person and thinks her daughter is a lovely person, I still found it hard to believe a 13-year-old would be psyched about this volunteer babysitting job. So I asked how much her daughter charged for babysitting, because I definitely wanted to pay her. My colleague said not to worry about it - then, as if she had read my mind, she said, 'Don't worry - she's getting paid - just not by you. I'm going to pay her.' So basically that was her gift to me - her daughter's babysitting services. I thought that was very sweet, and it was a novel concept for me. We really appreciated it, and I will definitely keep this type of gift in mind when my kids are old enough to babysit and I have a friend with young kids who has cancer. Wait... hopefully that won't happen. But still, you get the idea.

I continue to be uplifted by the love and support of the people around me. I've always known I have good people around me, but lately I've felt so many of my relationships have moved to a different level. I've been reveling in this love so much that it has actually taken my mind off of what brought us here in the first place. Regardless, I am thankful.