A Ship without a Sail (15 Weeks + 1 Day)

This is not my proudest moment. But... sometimes you have to do what you have to do.

I feel like all I've done lately is bitch and bitch and bitch and piss and moan and bitch some more. Since I feel so overly negative, I've been trying to leave out a few details about my orthopedist that have been really frustrating me pissing me off. Honestly, I try pretty hard to give people the benefit of the doubt, especially medical professionals. I can get along with most people, at least on a superficial level. And I've tried reeaaaaally hard to be positive about my orthopedist, who is a super nice guy, and who I really want to like. However, I've had a few concerns about him. Specifically, I don't have any confidence he knows how to handle DVT appropriately. Not that I know how, either, but based on everything that I've read and opinions from other medical professionals, I'm... unsure. And this is sort of a big deal - it's not like getting a bad opinion about a sore wrist; this is acute and extensive DVT, which can be really serious. I know that orthopedists don't really 'do' blood clots, but shouldn't they at least be... I dunno... proficient? Maybe he is and maybe I read too much shit on the Internet, but I do have my doubts.

Also, it's not just my lack of confidence in him, although that is obviously the biggest and most pressing issue. However, I'm also less than thrilled with his lack of responsiveness to the questions I've sent him via the patient portal, which claims that you will receive a response within two working days. Of course, he was extremely responsive to me pre-surgery and his medical assistant was very responsive for the first week post-surgery and then post-blood clot. But lately... no responses. And it's not as if I'm constantly sending him e-mails with huge demands or anything. After my September appointment, when he said that my labrum had not healed yet, I got to wondering if it was okay for me to be, like, doing stuff, if he thought my labrum was still torn. I mean, that's why he said I had to be on crutches for a freaking month - to let the labrum heal. I sent him a quick e-mail asking what type of activity level he would recommend. He never responded. After my last visit, I mentioned that he had only ordered an ultrasound on my calf and the back of my knee (which to be honest didn't give me much confidence that he's even paying any attention to what's going on). I sent him an e-mail making sure the ultrasound would be of my entire leg. (Hello! It is the clot in the femoral vein that has been the most distressing from the start!) I wasn't sure if it was necessary for the order to explicitly state this, especially since I was having the repeat ultrasound at the same location, but I didn't want to take any chances. He never responded. I took care of it myself. After my ultrasound a week ago, the tech told me that my orthopedist would have the report by the end of the day. My orthopedist had told me he would follow up once he had the results of the ultrasound. I had talked briefly to the tech, who knows stuff, but said that a radiologist would read the images and send an official report to my doctor. I gave my orthopedist a few days, then on Friday sent an e-mail asking if he could let me know the official results - i.e., prognosis? recommendations? He didn't respond. Not that I expected a response on Friday, but I gave him two business days before unleashing my fury on him today (Tuesday).

And unleash I did. As I said, I'm not proud of it, but man. Seriously? The title of my message was 'Can you please respond?' LOL. Given that the only time he has ever personally responded to any of my inquiries was pre-surgery (i.e., in the wooing phase), I was doubtful he even gets the e-mails. Or if he does get them, it seems doubtful he actually reads them, given his lack of response. I figured if anything, his MA reads them, and he only responds to the ones his worker bee can't handle. Perhaps when I composed my pissy e-mail I had it in my mind that no one was actually going to read it, given that there is no evidence that anyone does. I mean, I GET that orthopedists are busy. I GET being busy. I, too, am a busy lady. But, if you are that busy, then the patient portal should not be programmed to send an automated response that someone will get back to you within two business days if no one is actually going to (which I wrote in my pissy e-mail). Maybe I am a problem patient, but I really don't feel like I'm being that high maintenance with a few basic questions + one refill request for Xarelto within the past two months ( = four e-mails total - including the refill request and and my repeat request for my ultrasound results). It's not like I'm a Patient Portal Abuser. And the alternative to the patient portal is calling the office, waiting on hold for 10-15 minutes, getting the runaround, then being routed to an MA's voice mail (which I also wrote in my pissy e-mail). Who has time for that?

I know reports and e-mail are a huge time suck for health care providers, and trust me, I understand the time it takes to answer e-mails. I get (and respond to) many, many e-mails a day from students, and I'm aware that writing a report takes a lot of time. E-mail and reports do not seem to be my doctor's strong suit. Not that the latter really matters - after all, the whole idea of the patient having access to her/his reports is something that comes along with the patient portal, which as far as I know is a fairly recent invention. (For routine health care matters, we always seem to go for the solo practitioners, none of whom can afford this.) At any rate, since the patient portal seems to be mandatory for being a patient at this particular practice, it has been interesting for me to read the 'care summaries' the doctors write. Notably, my doctor never writes anything, except All of the patient's questions were answered and they state they understand and agree with the discussed treatment plan. They will follow up as planned, sooner if any problems. This must be some default option in the report-writing software. Interestingly, the only time my doctor has ever written anything other than this was after I had my second cortisone injection. The doctor who gave me the injection asked me what my doctor thought of my ongoing pain and I said I didn't have any idea what he was thinking. I noticed the report after that actually contained information. Word-for-word:

September 5, 2014: still having some sharp pains in her right hip. She has been going to physical therapy. She is still taking her Xarelto for her blood clot a 39-year-old female 2 months status post right hip arthroscopy with labral repair. At this time her hip has flared up and she states she would like to proceed with a intra-articular corticosteroid injection into her hip at this time. She states the Voltaren were not working for thus I will switch her over to meloxicam 15 mg once daily. She'll continue doing the physical therapy to help decrease her pain and improve her function. She'll continue taking her Xarelto also for one more month and we'll check an ultrasound of her right calf at that time I will see her back in 4 weeks' time to see how she is progressing. I do go she is frustrated with her progression but I did reassure I think that she will continue to improve we'll continue doing her physical therapy and try to improve her function and decrease her pain September 10, 2014: Patient here for right hip injection. she underwent a hip arthroscopy by Dr. Z. She says her pain now is worse than before the surgery. She is here for a repeat injection of her right hip joint.

(I'm so glad English composition is a requirement for most med schools!)

Anyway. Apparently my doctor does receive the e-mails through the patient portal, which actually makes it more unforgivable that he hasn't responded in the past. I sent my pissy e-mail close to 6:00 tonight. After putting the kids to bed and taking a shower, I came back downstairs and saw there was a message on our answering machine. The only people who call me after 8:00 PM are my mom, and lately, political campaigns, so I pressed the 'play' button on the answering machine while debating whether or not I had the energy to call my mom back at 8:30 on Tuesday night. I was shocked to discover that the message was from my orthopedist. WTF? I guess my pissy e-mail got through to him. I sort of feel bad about it, but sort of don't. For one, if he had just responded in a timely manner, there wouldn't have been a pissy e-mail in the first place. Also, as someone who works aaaaaalllll hours of the nights answering e-mails and grading, I'm hardly going to cry a river for someone making ten times more than I do who has to work outside the standard 8-5 business day.

(On a side note, I totally freaked a student out one time. I was up late grading assignments, which my students submit online, and I received a 'panicked' e-mail from a student claiming that she had submitted her assignment on time, but for some reason Blackboard was telling her that her assignment was late, and this was obviously a glitch on Blackboard, and she just wanted to make sure she wasn't penalized for this. I immediately shot her an e-mail back - around 1:30 AM - assuring her that I had been on Blackboard ALL NIGHT, for the past six hours, and her assignment was definitely not submitted before the deadline. Just like my orthopedist, the student never responded.)

But back to my original point. My orthopedist seemed super pissy on the phone, and to be honest, I don't blame him. The last thing you want when you finish a long day of work is a pissy e-mail from a patient you're obviously sick of. I know the feeling; I get lots of pissy e-mails from students and respond (semi) pissily. Here is a transcript of his message, plus imagine this in fast-forward mode; he was definitely talking ridiculously fast, as if to make the point that I don't have time for this shit.

Hey Mrs. Moon how're you this is Dr. Z giving you a call sorry to call so late just got done operating. It is... Tuesday night got the results of your ultrasound um they look good so I'll be able to get you off that um blood clot um blood clotting medication um looks good there's still a little... a small clot in there but it looks greatly improved from your last study so we can go ahead and get you off the Xarelto at this time and I think you should be doing just fine any questions feel free to give us a call back at the office tomorrow otherwise I'll talk to you soon thanks bye.

On the one hand, I don't feel like I should complain. This is what I wanted, isn't it? On the other hand, I don't trust this. So I'm supposed to stop taking Xarelto just like that, based on a seven-second message from my orthopedist? As much as I'd love for this to be the case, I can't find any evidence to indicate this is the right thing to do. I get that my doctor is probably super annoyed with me right now and probably just wants me to Go Away Already, but is this grounds for giving bad advice? Is he so pissed he wants me dead? LOL.

Additional concerns:

• This does not seem consistent with what the ultrasound tech told me. When I expressed my disappointment to the tech, she said it wasn't really realistic for such an extensive clot to resolve that quickly; it often took six months or even a year (and she should know). I realize this is ultrasound tech vs. orthopedic surgeon (via radiologist) but for some reason I'm feeling more confidence in the tech. Considering the whole reason my blood clot was even diagnosed and promptly treated was due to a PT assistant and ultrasound tech, I'm not feeling huge love toward the more highly educated.
• Following an episode of acute DVT, especially extensive DVT, it seems pretty standard to be on Xarelto for at least three months, more likely six months, and possibly even a year. I mentioned that I saw my husband's PCP the Monday after being treated in the ER, and he said that I would need to be on Xarelto for six months minimum. I realize that family practitioners don't necessarily 'do' blood clots any more than orthopedists, but considering my orthopedist doesn't even realize the clot was in my thigh, I'm... nervous. Fortunately, I asked the imaging place to have the results sent to this family practitioner as well, and I am considering consulting him as a second opinion. 
• Also, I've been communicating with my former PA for reasons unrelated to my hip. However, my hip did come up, and she said, (S)o sorry you ended up with those complications! DVT's are both scary and annoying. Will it be 3 months on the Xarelto? What did Dr A say? When I replied that Dr. A had said I needed to be on Xarelto for SIX months because the DVT was so extensive, she replied, 6 months sounds right for such a big event. So.... what to think? Again, I'm putting more confidence in my former PA than my surgeon, but... my PA is a really smart woman who knew/knows me so much better than my orthopedist. 
• So basically I don't know what to do. As much as I'd love to stop taking the Xarelto, I'm REALLY wary of just ditching it willy-nilly, and as far as I can tell, my orthopedist is the only person who is okay with this. And... I don't trust him. At the same time, after my pissy e-mail and his pissy call to me, I don't feel comfortable trying to facilitate any further communication with him.
• I realize it might be a good thing for me to find a new doctor, especially given that none of this even addresses my ongoing hip issues (remember those?), but a.) I'm starting to think all orthopedists are the same and b.) I'm feeling impatient at this point. Even if there is a better orthopedist out there, it's unlikely s/he could help me in the time period within which I am hoping to be helped ( = ASAP).

I remember an essay I was asked to write at some point in my education about how team captains for sports teams should be selected. I wrote an essay laying out the reasons I didn't believe in team captains, even though it wasn't really true. It just seemed like an easily defensible position, sort of like being pro-life, so I went with it. The response I got was that while my arguments were well laid out, wouldn't a team without a captain be like a ship without a sail? I had to agree.

And now... I feel like a ship without a sail, desperately in need of some guidance. (Any thoughts? Please share... here or on LJ...)

P.S. A few days ago, I wrote that I saw an anti-Xarelto ad on TV. While I was writing this entry, a similar ambulance chaser ad came on for anyone who has Smith & Nephew implants (which I do). So now I have two things working against me. Awesome!