Let it Go (13 Weeks + 4 Days)

For no particular reason, I'm having a good day. In fact, I saw my orthopedist this morning, and basically he was not helpful at all, yet I'm feeling a lot happier than I have in a while. Maybe it is the residual effects of book club, which seems to buoy my mood. Or maybe my orthopedist was more helpful than I give him credit for.

For one, he seemed much less rushed than usual, and took the time to really talk. So while I did tell him I had been feeling better over the past few days, I mentioned that I had clusters of good days and bad days, just like I did before the surgery. He seemed cautiously optimistic about the good days and did not dismiss the bad days. We then talked about various things.

• I explained the motions that really hurt - the combination of flexing my thigh and then putting weight down on it, which occurs when I walk and especially up and even down stairs. He asked if I could ride a bike and I said riding a bike was fine; it definitely seems to be weight-bearing that hurts. He said it was a good sign that riding a bike was okay, but quickly added, 'But I understand that walking is pretty important.' LOL. 
• I mentioned that the pain usually got progressively worse and was always the worst at the end of the day, especially the days when I teach. I finish my last class at 1:30, then mostly sit in my office for the rest of the afternoon. It's when I get up to go home that the pain is the worst - walking down endless flights of stairs to go to my car. He asked, 'What about when you get home?' I told him that when I get home, I lie on the couch and cover myself with ice and drink beer, which isn't exactly true, but he thought that was pretty funny. Ahhhh, yes, self-medication!
• Since he seemed to be in listening mode, I also told him that I had gone hiking a few weeks ago and had felt great and really thought I was getting better. Unfortunately, the pain returned after the weekend and after a day of work, and I told him AJ's theory of work being the problem. He did note that it was interesting that the pain came back so long after the actual hiking.
  
• He did a few tests and said that my strength was good and that I seemed to have full strength in my hip, so he didn't feel that it was a question of needing to strengthen anything. He also said that my range of motion without pain was much better than the last time, and that it did not appear that I had re-torn my labrum. I supposedly passed the labral impingement test, but we know how that goes.
• Speaking of which... he also repeated his blood clot test on me (Homan's test) although I don't trust him at all on that one! Fortunately, he ordered a repeat ultrasound so we can see where we stand with my DVT without having to rely on his examination skills (or lack thereof). I did tell him that while my leg was definitely better, I still had some pain when I tried to squat down. I told him I realized this when I tried to put air in my tires the other day, and I ended up crawling around on my hands and knees in front of the gas station.

Other interesting tidbits:

• While he was examining me, he asked how classes were going. (I'm always amazed he remembers that I teach.) I told him they were going well. He asked if it was midterm time yet, which is interesting, because I feel like a lot of people have asked me that recently, and I don't know anyone in my department who gives 'midterms' - a pretty standard biology course is three or four exams and a final. I told him I don't really give a 'midterm,' but the class had just had their first exam. He asked how they did and I said they did pretty well, that the average was around a 70%. His jaw dropped. Then he asked if I scaled that up at all. I said no, 70% was actually a pretty good average for the first test. He just stared at me with his mouth open, so I added that a lot of people score in the 30s and 40s, which has to mean they aren't even trying, so I never scale up based on the average. I added that I do bump up grades on occasion if I don't have enough As; I like to have at least 10% of the class have an A. He kept staring at me and said, '10%?!' Then he declared, 'I'm glad I didn't have you for biology - I might not be a doctor now!' HA HA! (Have I mentioned that I really value sense of humor?)
• Before I saw the doctor, I asked the medical assistant if I could get a copy of the surgery report. I added that I knew it was sort of awkward, but I felt like I might have to see a different doctor at some point and would like to have the report. She was understanding. She said she would print it off for me, but then she never came back. After I saw the doctor, I thought she might come back in with the orders for the ultrasound, and hoped I could ask her then, but unfortunately the doctor came back in himself with the orders, which meant that I had to ask him for the surgery report. I could have just ditched the idea at that point, especially since I felt like the visit went well, but. But. But. I asked him for the report and it ended up being fine, but... eh. On an amusing side note, I had to laugh at the very first sentence, This is a very pleasant 39-year-old female... Me? Pleasant? Even very pleasant? Did he just add that in there before giving me a copy? I didn't know they put notes about your personality in surgery reports. Besides, aren't most people pleasant when they are anesthetized? LOL.

So after all this... my doctor seemed a little stumped, just like I am. As he said, physical therapy doesn't seem to be helping and the cortisone injection didn't help, either. He contemplated the situation for a good while and then said, 'I'm thinking we should just... maybe... give it a rest.' I immediately understood, and agreed. Let it go. While this isn't exactly helpful, it sort of is. I was thinking about this before my appointment: What exactly is it that I want my doctor to say or do that would satisfy me? Yes, I suppose he could order more X-rays or another MRI, but I'm not sure that's really what I want right now. I sort of just want a break. I think this is what I was getting at about a week ago, when I wrote about just trying to accept my pain for what it is, and stop stressing about it so much. That actually helped me a little. And hearing this from my doctor validates it a little more.

It felt different than the other times when he just told me I needed more time. He didn't say that I was going to be fine, he just suggested trying to take it easy for a month, and after a month we would see where we were and re-evaluate. It is sort of ironic that not hearing him tell me that I was going to be fine made me feel better. I guess that made me feel like he was listening more carefully than before. He did say his usual hope was to have people back to normal after three months but that, of course, everyone is different.

So the plan is:

• Stop PT. Overall, it's just not helping and seems to be making everyone frustrated. (I stopped by the PT room after my appointment and both AJ and Beth agreed this might be a good thing.)
• Continue non-weight bearing or minimally weight-bearing activities that do not hurt, such as a stationary bike or elliptical. I'll have to work on this one - perhaps carve out some time to go to the Y.
• Continue taking meloxicam. It is probably helping a little bit, even if I don't notice any obvious benefits. He also suggested taking it in the morning, which I haven't been doing because I'm afraid of the side effects making me goofy. However, I've been taking it long enough now that I'm pretty sure it doesn't make me goofy.
• Get an ultrasound on my leg (which I scheduled for next Friday) and try to get off Xarelto sometime in the near future if the blood clot has resolved (fingers crossed).
• Avoid activities that cause pain. This is hard when walking is one of those things, but fortunately he did not mention the 'c' word. He did recommend perhaps not hiking for a while though. Ha. I need to try getting rest when I can to give my hip a chance to calm down. It's not as if I need bed rest or to go back to crutches, but... I just generally need to try to take it easy.

I'm surprisingly okay with this plan. I also feel as if somehow, in all of this, I was able to let go of some of my anger. I've been feeling a lot of frustration toward my orthopedist over the past few months, and I don't like feeling that way. I felt like he redeemed himself today, and I'm happy to be able to let go of my anger towards him. He truly is a super nice guy, and I do believe that he's trying to help me in the best way he knows how. He seemed concerned today, and ironically, that has renewed my faith in him.

So... onward.

Book Club Redux (13 Weeks + 3 Days)

I've mentioned that I'm in a book club, and I really look forward to my monthly book club meetings with fellow working moms, who also look forward to this one night a month where putting the kids to bed becomes the sole responsibility of the dad. As someone tonight said, 'It's really more like a drinking club with a book problem.' LOL.

Somehow book club seems to have fallen into the same schedule as my visits with the orthopedist: book club on Thursday night, orthopedist on Friday. At the last book club, I was also anticipating a meeting with my orthopedist the following day. Looking back, I think I've improved somewhat since the last book club. In fact, I'm having a fairly good hip week, and I'm sort of torn as to how to go about with my appointment tomorrow. On the one hand, I'm happy that I've been feeling better for the past few days. On the other hand, the few minutes that I get with my orthopedist every now and then are few and far between, and I feel like he should know about the horrendous pain I've been having for the past three weeks. I realize that perhaps I could actually be getting better (which would be awesome), but... what if I'm not? What if I'm just having a good few days, the same way I was having a good day when I saw him two weeks post surgery and he failed to diagnose my blood clot because I was having a good day?

I feel as if I tell my orthopedist that I've been feeling better, that is all he will hear. He will just take that as a sign that I'm getting better, and that will be the end of it. And while I HOPE that's the case, I don't want to waste my precious minutes (especially at approximately $80/minute) on him telling me that everything is going to be just fine.

Ah, dilemmas.

Baby Steps (12 Weeks + 4 Days)

So back to more practical matters.

Ever since the semester started, I've only been able to make it to PT once a week, even though my orthopedist was still recommending twice a week at my last visit. Honestly, I could make twice a week work, but with my old PT, AJ, it wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth the time or the money. Also, back in August, I mentioned to AJ that I would be cutting back to once a week once the semester started and he thought that was fine. At the time, he said I was doing great, and he actually thought that pretty soon I wouldn't need to come in at all.

Ha.

Several weeks ago, I wrote about how AJ broke up with me. For the past few weeks, I have been seeing Beth, who, despite being 'just' a PTA, is, like, 100x better than AJ. Okay so maybe not 100x, but at least 2 or 3 and maybe even 10. She's just a lot more hands on than AJ, which has actually been pretty helpful. At least, I leave PT with a sense of accomplishment rather than a feeling of extreme depression. I left PT yesterday feeling positive enough about PT that I actually made two appointments for next week.

Something I haven't discussed a lot recently is the pain in my left hip (the non-operated side). This is mostly because I sort of totally can't deal with this right now, so I've tried to block it out. Unfortunately, the pain has recently become un-ignorable because it is preventing me from comfortably sleeping on my left side, and since I can't sleep on my right side, either, this has led to a lot of sleepless nights, which reeeeaaaalllly gets to me. I can't stand not getting enough sleep - although it happens frequently, which probably goes a long way toward explaining my bad personality, lol. 

After a consultation with Dr. Google, I diagnosed myself with bursitis. (This doesn't take a rocket scientist.) And honestly, it doesn't seem to matter what any of any of this is, as non-surgical options for most conditions are the same: rest and ice. (And trust me, I'm 110% anti-surgery at this point.) Unfortunately, 'rest' in a lot of cases means crutches, just like AJ suggested, but let's not go there right now. However, one recommendation for bursitis is a cortisone injection into the bursa - LOL, sound familiar? The up side to this is that it is both diagnostic and therapeutic, just like a cortisone injection into the hip. If it takes away the pain, you know what you're dealing with; if it doesn't help, you can eliminate bursitis as a cause of pain. The down side is, of course, that as I've learned from experience, cortisone injections hurt like fucking hell and are also pretty pricey. Plus, the more I read about cortisone, the more I'm convinced that it's got to be really bad for you or at least not good for you, especially if you use it a lot; after all, it's a steroid. So I wasn't exactly jazzed about a cortisone injection; nonetheless, my left hip has become quite painful and I realize I will have to deal with it at some point.

Yesterday I mentioned to Beth that my left hip hurt quite a bit. She massaged it for a while and suggested that we try a cortisone patch, which basically delivers cortisone to a site without the need for an injection. Instead, the cortisone is delivered via iontophoresis, which is driven by a small battery in the patch. (I looked all of this up after the fact.) Although I've used patches for back pain before (which I'm pretty sure were just numbing/painkilling medications), the idea of the cortisone patch was new to me, and sort of exciting. A cortisone shot without the shot!

And... I have to say... two thumbs up for the cortisone patch. My left hip feels so much better today, I can't even tell you. The sort of funny thing is that I woke up and was like OMG my hip feels amazing! only to realize that my groin area was killing me. It was as if the pain just moved from my bursa into my groin. LOL. However, after a day full of activity, I'm pretty sure the current pain is actually just soreness from all the stuff I did in PT yesterday.

Beth also suggested trying a patch on my right side, and I figured why not. After all, what is one more dose of steroids in the large scheme of things? And as long as it doesn't involve a needle, it seems relatively free of risk. Basically the patch didn't do anything for my right side, but that is at least good information. So it's likely not bursitis on my right side. And actually, at my last appointment with my orthopedist, he did 'check' for bursitis, and he concluded that bursitis was not the problem. I say 'check' in quotes, because I have little faith in his physical examination skills, but I at least agree with him now. :) Unfortunately, when it comes to my right side, crossing bursitis off the list leaves me with much less palatable possibilities, which, in accordance with my last post, I am not going to worry about for the time being. I'm just happy to have some relief in my left hip.

Baby steps, baby steps. :)

Embrace your Pain (12 Weeks + 3 Days)

J'embrasse mon rival mais c'est pour l'étouffer.

(I embrace my rival, but it is to strangle him.)

Jean Racine (1639-1699)

* * * * *

One time in college, I set out to make an inspirational poster for one of my teammates. This was pre-Internet era, so inspirational quotes were not a Google stop away. I had two books of quotes, one of which was full of quotations from only French authors. Flipping through the book, I found the quote above. It didn't quite work for inspiring better diving, so after a lot of 'fiddling,' I finally came up with: Embrace your fears, and you will strangle them.

It is like our diving coach used to tell us: It is okay to have butterflies, you just have to make them fly in formation. 

I was once an accomplished athlete. My main sports were gymnastics, and later diving, both of which involve a significant amount of fear. I could have been so much better than I was, but unfortunately, fear always got the best of me. My physical abilities were always ten steps ahead of my mental abilities. The thing is that fear and anxiety are a cycle, just like pain is a cycle. Looking back, I think that I sometimes feared the horrible feeling of fear itself rather than the actual dive. I detested that feeling of shaking legs and standing on the end of the diving board full of self doubts, wondering if I actually had it in me to throw myself off the board, do two and a half flips, and override all human instinct and land on my head. When I managed to put these thoughts out of my head, the dive itself wasn't ever difficult for me.

With my current hip ordeal, I've been told I need to break the pain cycle, and I've tried so many things to do this. So far, these things haven't worked. Now I think I need to break the cycle of fear and anxiety and stress. I realized recently that my stress about my pain is worse than the pain itself, just as my fear of doing a back 2 1/2 in diving was worse than the worst thing that ever happened to me from actually doing it. I need a break from the stress. I need a break from worrying about the pain and a break from my constant appointments with Dr. Google and a break from wondering what is wrong with me and why I'm not better and why surgery didn't work and... and... and...

I have an appointment with my orthopedist next Friday, a week from tomorrow. Until then, I'm just going to accept the pain for what it is and do the best that I can with it. Because at this point, it is the stress about my pain that is killing me, not the pain itself. I am tough. I can deal with physical pain. It's the mental stuff that has always gotten the best of me. So I need to tend to the mental part of this.

Embrace your pain and you will strangle it.

Out of Words (11 Weeks + 5 Days)

I feel like I am running out of new words to express my frustrations, which is an odd feeling for me. I'm almost never at a loss for words when it comes to writing.

I suppose that I could write nothing at all, but... it is Saturday evening and I am home alone, with only college football on TV to keep me company. Also, as I have progressed through this hopefully soon to end adventure, I've realized how valuable it is for me to have a record of some of my experiences, as I was experiencing them. Of course, my hope is always that what I'm writing won't end up being significant, but so far I'm batting about 500. The leg pain I started to complaining about just a week after surgery turned out to be massive blood clot, which was finally diagnosed a month later. At that point, I stopped taking birth control and started taking Xarelto, which led to massive vaginal bleeding, which I freaked out about. Fortunately, that did turn out to be 'nothing' - if losing enough blood to soak through a super plus tampon and a pad in an hour for 48 hours counts as 'nothing.'

I'm now almost 12 weeks post-surgery, the point at which I was supposed to be all better, 'all better' meaning that I would have no restrictions on my activity, the point at which my surgeon said he had seen NHL hockey players start playing hockey again. Instead? I am feeling horrendous pain, the same, if not worse, than it was before the surgery. I also have a lot of pain in my left hip, which I've mostly been trying to ignore, because honestly, I can't deal with pain in another body part right now. (I warned you early - I have pretty much zero tolerance for stress.) However, I'm starting to get somewhat alarmed by the pain in my left hip, which is relentless and just won't let up.

I know that I supposedly need to be patient, but I am tired of being patient and tired of being a patient. Also, at my last visit with my orthopedist, he assured me it was very likely that I'd be feeling much better in a month. That was almost a month ago, and instead of feeling much better, I feel much worse. And this is after having a second cortisone shot a little over two weeks ago. This does not feel right to me. I realize that recovery from surgery is a process, and everyone is different, and yada yada yada, and just because NHL hockey players are able to play hockey within three months doesn't mean I should expect the same. At the same time, I don't feel like it's normal that I should be feeling worse than I did before surgery at this point. And I'm not asking to play hockey, just to be able to walk without severe pain.

I mentioned a few weeks ago that my therapist had suggested using crutches again, to give my hip a rest. At the time, I saw that as really going backwards, but recently I've become sort of desperate and decided to try this - at least when I'm alone. At this point, it is not muscle weakness or lack of range of motion that is my problem; it is the pain. I can do everything that is asked of me at PT; it just hurts like hell. So maybe a little rest when I can get it isn't a bad idea. With that in mind, I decided to really try to rest this weekend, since my husband took the kids out of town and I was by myself. It has been difficult to really adhere to using crutches to get around, but at the same time, the pain relief that the crutches afford makes it easier.

I was supposed to take an all-day class today that was cancelled. So... I went up to my office at the university and spent the day there. I could have worked from home, but over the past few years I've really tried to make a concerted effort to draw a line between my work life and my home life. I've been so successful that even when I'm all alone, it's hard for me to work from home, with the exception of answering e-mails and grading.

As I said earlier, I am super self-conscious about trudging around on crutches; for some reason this embarrasses me, a lot. However, I figured that I was fairly safe from embarrassment on a Saturday morning at the university, and was fairly determined to give my PT's 'resting when I can' idea a chance. Little did I know that so many of my colleagues work on Saturdays. LOL. Fortunately, everyone knows about my hip saga at this point, so it's not a hugely surprising thing for me to be using crutches to get around. (If I'm not crutching, I'm limping and constantly whining.) The sort of ironic part of this is that yesterday, I had to walk across campus to deliver exams to Disability Services for my students who need a test-taking accommodation. While I was dragging myself past my colleague's office, she asked me where I was headed, as if she knew I was going to Disability Services (work ESP, I guess). When I told her, she came out of her office and asked me if I could take her exams over for her as well. Then she asked me if I needed to borrow her cane. LOL. This woman is actually disabled herself; she was hit by a car while riding her bike to work, and now uses a cane to get from her car to her office. I declined, but apparently she was watching me as I made my precarious descent down the staircase just outside her office. She called after me, 'Seriously! I mean it! You can borrow my cane!' Today when I was sitting in my office, this same colleague passed by my office and commented on my crutches in a tsk tsk sort of way, as if my refusing the use of her cane yesterday caused my need for crutches today. Ha!

Here's where I could really use an awesome doctor or physical therapist. I feel like I'm stuck in this weird territory between needing to strengthen my hip and return to normal, and needing to rest my hip to not cause more pain and inflammation. Since I don't seem to be getting much guidance, I've been consulting Dr. Google again. After much consultation with Dr. Google,  I've come up with the following possible explanations for my continuing pain:

1. It is just typical post-surgery pain, and I need to give it more time. This would be the best explanation, though I find it hard to believe that all of this pain is just normal pain. During my last visit with the orthopedist, he commented that my labrum had obviously not healed yet, and that I needed to give it more time. Later I got to wondering about what traipsing around on a still-torn labrum was doing, considering the reason he told me I needed to be on crutches for an f-ing month was to let the labrum heal properly. I sent him an e-mail but never heard back from him.
2. I somehow tore the labrum again. Aside from falling the afternoon after surgery, I don't see when this could have happened. For once, I've been an extremely compliant patient throughout all of this.
3. I have tendonitis in my hip flexors and a lot of scar tissue that is causing the pain. This is what the therapist I've been working with has suggested. At my last appointment, she used the 'spatula' on me and commented on how much scar tissue I seemed to have. However, she did not think this would necessarily be causing the continued 'grinding' sensation I have in my hip joint. Nonetheless, I Googled treatment for hip flexor tendonitis, and non-surgical options include... rest... and ice. Check.
4. I have avascular necrosis (AVN), which is basically when the blood supply to the bone is interrupted, and the bone begins to die. Not to be a hypochondriac, but I'm sort of alarmed at how much of what I'm feeling seems to match up with the symptoms for this. Also, this condition is often associated with clotting that cuts off the blood supply to the bone. While I know enough about anatomy to understand that clots in veins are different from clots in arteries, I can't help but wonder if there could be some connection between DVT and AVN. All my literature searches on AVN tell me that most cases of AVN are idiopathic ( = no known cause), but it still makes me think... hmmmmm... Of course, I Googled treatment for AVN, and non-surgical options include... rest... and electrical stimulation. Check.

So... I have a plan of sorts. My next appointment with my orthopedist is on Friday, October 10th. If I'm not feeling much better by then, and if he tells me once again to be patient and wait it out, I'm going to get a second opinion. I'm also going to try to find a new physical therapist and perhaps see a pain doctor that my PA recommended to me initially. This is sort of tricky, and involves some level of confrontation that is difficult for me, but might be necessary, IMO. I've tried so hard to be positive about all of this, and I really like my surgeon, and don't want to be angry with him, but at the same time, I don't feel like he is helping me right now. And I really need help!

I think the other part of this that I'm struggling with right now is whether or not it was a good decision to have this surgery in the first place, considering that I'm now feeling worse than I was before the surgery, plus have been dealing with a potentially life-threatening blood clot. It doesn't help that I have my mom constantly reminding me that you should never see a doctor unless you will otherwise die (which is the attitude with which I was reared). However, I have to say that I'm not yet at a point of pure bitterness. I still don't regret my decision. While I'm disappointed in the outcome of the surgery, and how my surgeon has dealt with it, I still know that I had to give this surgery a chance. If I weren't here whining about how much my hip hurt post-surgery, I'd be here whining about how much my hip hurt because of a torn labrum and loose cartilage floating around in the joint, and you'd all be thinking that I should just have the surgery so I would shut up already.

And... to conclude, I'd like to say that I am still thankful every day that this is the biggest problem I have in my life right now. I realize it could be so much worse, and I am extremely grateful that it isn't.

Obviously work is the problem. (11 Weeks + 3 Days)

The good news: My leg feels a lot better, which I hope means my blood clot is gone, or at least going away. Aside from remembering to take my Xarelto every morning, I rarely think about DVT anymore.

The bad news: My hip pain is back. With a vengeance. Ugh. No matter how many people tell me I just have to be patient, it just doesn't feel right. I feel like it is way too long after surgery to still be feeling this much pain.

Today at PT, I was explaining to AJ how I went hiking over the weekend and felt great, but that the pain returned midday on Monday, after my first class. He replied definitively, 'I know what the problem is!' Even though he has never even really tried to give me an explanation for any of the problems I've presented to him over the past 10 weeks, I was actually stupid enough to believe him. LOL. After all, even my new therapist - who is actually a PT Assistant - suggested maybe it had something to do with hiking and then sitting in a car for so long. My own idea is that it is the effects of the cortisone wearing off already.

However, AJ went on to say, 'Obviously work is the problem!'

I had to laugh at that one. He may be on to something. But I'll save that discussion for my other blog.

Just for the record, my current pain is very specific. It is the combination of flexing my hip, bending my leg, and putting weight on it, that is killing me. Examples of activities that require this combination of motions: going up stairs, going down stairs, getting into my car, sitting down, standing up, and bending over. Interestingly enough, I was able to do a fair amount of exercises at PT today without much pain because none of them required all three of these motions together.

I know I sound like a broken record, but ohmygosh when is this going to end?!

Light at the End of the Tunnel? (10 Weeks + 6 Days)

I took a long weekend and went on a fall getaway, and it was fabulous to be out of Internet and cell phone range and breathe some fresh, mountain air. The weather was spectacular, the colors weren't quite at their peak of spectacular but were fairly spectacular nonetheless, and my hip was... spectacular. I'm afraid to even type it. Ha. And I'm afraid to even wonder, but yet can't help wondering: Have I finally turned the corner? Am I finally approaching the end of the tunnel?

It was a fun-filled weekend, full of moderate levels of activity and (drum roll, please) hiking. I have not gone hiking since, well, the last time I went hiking. LOL. But the last time I went hiking, it did not end well; in fact, extreme pain after going on a short hike with a bunch of a little kids is what pushed me in the direction of surgery. I am happy to say that it was a totally different story this time! The first day of the trip, I went on a very level hike on a well-established path, about four miles round-trip, and felt virtually no pain. The second day, I went on another hike, about the same distance, with a lot more ups and downs and uneven terrain, and felt a little bit of discomfort here and there, but basically no major pain. I was also without my new best friend, Mr. Ice Bag, for the whole weekend, and I actually feel really good right now.

In less spectacular news, I've noticed some small things here and there that I hope are signs of progress. For one, I can now squat down, which I haven't been able to do for a long time. It still hurts some, but the fact that I can do it at all means that the swelling in my leg has gone down, which hopefully means my DVT is resolving. Also, since the surgery, I haven't been able to stand with my legs together without extreme pain, but I noticed this evening that I can now do this. It still hurts a little, but it is nothing like it was before. Hopefully this is a sign of healing.

At this point, it is tempting to speculate what all of this might mean as far as my recovery, but I think I'll just sit back and enjoy it instead. It is what it is. :)