A Moment of Peace

A while ago (a week? two weeks? - I don't know), I got a call on my cell phone from a number I didn't recognize. That's not highly unusual these days, because I get a lot of phone calls from doctors and doctors' offices and other random people related to cancer stuff. But after the woman on the other end told me she was from a spa, I wasn't really listening. I just figured it was a telemarketer or wrong number or something, because I never go to spas. But as she kept talking, I realized she really was calling for me, and I was like, 'Wait, I'm so sorry. (I wasn't listening!) Whaaaaaat?'

Very patiently and nicely, she repeated everything, telling me that she was the manager of a salon and spa in town, and that one time a year, they closed down on a Sunday, and employees donated their time to come in and give free salon and spa services to people who are having a hard time and need 'a moment of peace.' I was like, 'Uh... okay.' (And what do you want me to do for you?) Finally, she was like, 'Well, someone put your name in and you're one of the people we chose.' To which I was like, 'Huh?' Then, 'Oh wow, really?!' (Seriously?! That's, like, so nice. Who does that sort of thing?!)

So, I went in today and got a free facial and haircut and pedicure and ate and had makeup put on, and it was really fantastic. I've never had a facial before; in fact, I've only been into a spa, like, three times in my whole life. (On a side note, I was listening to two of the other women talking, and they were both like, 'OMG, I totally started crying when they called me and told me!' and I felt pretty bad for not crying, and just being like, 'Huh? Whaaaat?!')

Anyway, I've often said that I've had more medical procedures in the past five months than in the whole rest of my life combined, but now I can say that I've also had more pampering, too. :) Before my mastectomy, I decided that I wanted a pedicure. I'm not quite sure why, it was just one of those things that I've never done before, and figured why not? I'm getting my boob cut off, the least I can do is get my toenails painted. Or something like that. Plus, I normally take good care of my feet, and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to reach them for a while. So a friend and I went and got pedicures with our daughters as a back-to-school/pre-mastectomy treat. And I was glad that I did, because so many people admired my lovely green toenails while I was in the hospital. LOL. I didn't think anyone would notice, because they make you wear color-coded socks (mine were yellow to show that I was a high risk for falling - WTF?), but it turns out they took my right sock off during surgery so they could put an IV in my foot, and that IV stayed in for three days, so that foot got a lot of attention. :) Today I went with something more fall-like; hopefully we'll have a few more weeks of flip-flop weather!

It really was a lovely afternoon, even though I felt kind of guilty the whole time. Like, what did I do to deserve this? On the other hand, I don't think I did anything to deserve breast cancer, either, so I guess that it just how the universe works. Ha. I know I promised to never be one of those people who professes that cancer has made my life so much better, given me a new outlook on life, whatever, but... it sort of has. LOL. At the very least, this experience is giving me a new appreciation for people. My relationships with my friends have grown to new depths, my love and appreciation for my husband has grown as we live out the 'for worse' part of our marriage vows, and I've been amazed by the generosity of miscellaneous folks throughout all of this - whether it be people spending the day doing free facials or distant acquaintances bringing food. I feel spiritually centered and strangely peaceful. I used to feel that it was just resignation and fatigue, but I'm not sure about that anymore.

I need to take a lot of deep breaths and try to hold onto this peace, for tomorrow I have to start taking tamoxifen, and I am terrified.