Of course, self-improvement encompasses many things, because there's not an ounce of myself that couldn't be better. The projects are practically limitless. But one thing I've been focusing on is my professional life which is, quite frankly, slightly pathetic. I used to blog about it, but then the I HAVE A FULL TIME JOB AND TWO YOUNG KIDS thing reared its ugly head, and spending time blogging about how pathetic you are is a pathetic thing to do when you could be using that time to make yourself less pathetic.
Anyhoo. I have a 'to do' list of things I want to accomplish while I am free from my teaching duties, which I now realize is insanely ambitious and not do-able, but that's sort of the story of my life. However, one of my goals is to finish what I started back in January, and become a certified EMT. At this point in my life, I'm not sure if I'll ever use this credential in any sort of professional manner, but I am a finish what I start kind of gal. I already completed the EMT course and passed my practical exams (and god it was hard for me, which I wrote about here and here), so all I need to do is to pass the national registry exam. This should be the easy part for me. And I just feel like after all that time I put into the class, I should be certified.
I remember talking about the steps to become certified in my class, and it's a lot more complicated than it should be, and all that is just a world away from where I am now. So a few weeks ago, I finally decided to wade through all of the bureaucracy and apply for certification. Now I have a definite date that I can sit for the national registry exam, and that is November 10th. Thus, I've been half-heartedly trying to study for the exam, without much luck. I mean, hello, I HAVE TWO YOUNG KIDS AND CANCER! Ha.
Oh and geez, that is one super long introduction to the topic that actually inspired this entry, which is the topic of touching. Let me just say, I'm not a touchy person. Physical contact makes me uncomfortable, which makes breast cancer a bitch, yo. So many random people looking at and touching your boobs all. the. freaking. time. is not cool. Fortunately, after two kids, I've sort of overcome some of my issues, or whatever. Meaning, I don't freak out when someone touches me. But still, IT'S NOT NORMAL AND I DON'T LIKE IT!
And what does any of this have to do with studying for my EMT exam? I was thinking about this the other day as I came across a practice question that went something like this:
An EMT should do all of the following EXCEPT
a. make good eye contact with a patient.For me, 'b' is like NO, just NO. PUTTING A HAND ON A PATIENT'S SHOULDER DOESN'T CALM HER! Never ever touch a person unless you ask them first! OMG!! Except that for most people, the hand on the shoulder trick is a-okay, and apparently I am a freak, and the correct answer is 'c', because sometimes patients should be worried and everything is NOT going to be fine, which I get. But I disagree that physical contact with a patient will calm her - not to mention you can get sued. (I can tell you a true story about this.)
b. put a hand on the patient's shoulder to calm and reassure her.
c. tell the patient not to worry because she is going to be fine.
d. explain to the patient what is happening.
This question actually brought back a memory from my last visit with Dr. T - details I had never really thought about until just then. Until my last visit, my husband had been with me for every appointment. However, since my mom took me to my last appointment, I was alone in the exam room. When Dr. T came in, we had a brief conversation, then he told me he was going to get his nurse before he examined me, which was new. I really didn't think about it until much later, when I realized it was only because my husband wasn't with me. Apparently Dr. T needed someone else in the room to verify that he wasn't being inappropriate, in the event that I should suddenly decide that having a strange man touch my breasts and abdomen is not okay. (For the record, it's really not okay, but you have to get over it, and having someone else in the room to witness it doesn't make it any more okay.) Reflecting on it later, I was sort of offended Dr. T didn't trust me, but my husband assured me that it wasn't about me; it was standard.
The weird thing is that I have a specific memory of having a freak out while Dr. T was looking at my nipple. (I mean seriously, nipple grossness is pretty freaking embarrassing.) And I must have been in typical Waning freak out mode, because I remember that he asked me to lie back, then HE PUT HIS HAND ON MY SHOULDER, and his other hand on my arm and told me everything was going to be fine. LOL. (That's only a no-no if everything isn't going to be fine.) I wouldn't say he exactly calmed me down - it's more like he was holding me down, or at least making me aware of the fact that I was wiggling around too much, because it's embarrassing to have your gooey, bleeding nipple inspected. Nevertheless, it's interesting that I remember this. Like... dude, this guy has seen me naked, taken pictures of me naked, pinched the fat on every part of my body, felt my breasts regularly, and yet, him putting a hand on my shoulder to calm me is what I remember. I wonder if it's something they teach in med school in addition to EMT class - put your hand on the patient's shoulder to calm her. It definitely seemed personal - too personal almost. Which is ridiculous, I know. You can touch my boobs, but please keep your hand off my shoulder. It's like the prostitutes in the movie Pretty Woman - sex is okay, but kissing is a no-no. Too personal.
I mentioned in my post about BRA Day that there was another woman there who was super emo who kept hugging me and hugging Dr. T, which made me wonder if this is the way I am supposed to be. I mean, I've never gotten touchy with a doctor before, but then again, I've never had cancer before, either. Now that I think about it, Dr. L is sort of touchy, too - hugging me and putting her arm around me a lot. Putting her hand on my shoulder to calm me. Ick. LOL. When I was a kid, my mom had to give me hugging lessons because I did gymnastics, which is a very huggy sport, and she said I looked stupid when I finished a routine and everyone tried to hug me and I just stood there. (In college, I started diving, which worked better for me because people are less inclined to hug you when you're all wet.) Maybe it's time to re-visit this issue. I'll add it to my 'to do' list for self-improvement: must increase physical contact with others. Must learn how to put a hand on someone's shoulder to calm her.
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