Post Lumpectomy: Day 3

They say no news is good news, but in my case, I really think no news is just... no news.

And for once, I have complete confidence that my doctor actually will call me as soon as she has news, so no news actually is... no news. With that said, there is not a lot to report on the cancer front.

However, I am happy to say that I felt soooo much better today. I still feel very tired, and it still hurts like a mother fucker if I move my arm around a lot, but basically I feel like someone who just, like, broke their arm. Or something. (I've never actually broken my arm, so I have no idea what I'm talking about.)

Anyway. Some random, but related, thoughts: 

• I mentioned to a friend the other day that one of the issues with this whole ordeal is that I can't sleep. I've always had trouble sleeping, but this just makes it worse. Ever since I started having severe hip pain over a year ago, it has been hard for me to sleep on my right side, and now I can't sleep on my left side ( = bad boob side). Plus, the stress and yadayadayada. She came over to bring me a full body pillow, the type you use when you're pregnant, which actually helped a lot. 
• I belong to a book club, and way back when, before cancer was even on my radar, I volunteered to host the May book club at my house. My book club friends know about my ordeal, and have been super awesome about it, and I ended up having the book club at my house tonight, despite everything. And it was actually really good, because I needed a distraction, and... because, despite everything, I really want things to be normal. Like... yeah, this cancer shit has thrown an unexpected curve ball into everything, but I really don't want all my conversations with my friends from here on out to be about cancer, cancer, cancer... I want to talk about other stuff, too - the things we've always talked about.
• Hosting the book club wasn't a huge ordeal, because one of my friends came over early to help me clean, then another came over, and the three of us made Chinese dumplings together. And afterward, friends cleared off the table and did the dishes, and it was really pretty relaxing overall.
• The only unfortunate thing is that I haven't eaten solid food in a while; I'm not sure if it's post-surgical stress or stress in general, but I haven't eaten normally in at least a couple weeks, and I have not really eaten solid food until today. Tonight, I ate and drank normally (including a few glasses of wine), and geez did I pay for it. After everyone left, I didn't feel great, but thought, eh, whatever. I started to do a little cleaning in kitchen, but soon found myself throwing up violently. WTF? I haven't even started chemo, but it's like my body is preparing itself for chemo with premature gastrointestinal distress. All I can say is if I don't at least lose some freaking weight after all this, I'm gonna be pissed.

But the good news is that aside from the whole throwing up thing and a lot of fatigue, I felt pretty normal today. The friend who helped me clean before book club also brought me a sling that her husband got when he broke his elbow, and that has since been used by both her kids for broken arms. Being able to rest my arm helped a lot. I'm hopeful that by tomorrow I'll feel even more normal - at least like I did after the biopsy, which was like I'd been punched in the ribs, but otherwise okay. And, of course, I'm still hoping for news tomorrow - one way or the other. Today, I was still feeling enough after effects from surgery that I wasn't really ready for any news; I really just wanted to worry about healing. But tomorrow, I think I'll be feeling normal enough that I'll be feeling like bring it on. One way or another, just bring it on.