Oh the ups and downs. I just had a fantastic PT session, and am feeling very happy right now. I know I'm going to sound completely bipolar by writing this, but since most of my recent entries have been gloom and doom, I thought perhaps it was time for something more upbeat. It's a relief to actually feel happy again; I had forgotten what that was like. :)
I wasn't actually feeling too good this morning, as I barely slept last night. I have had a pesky cough for about 10 days that will not go away and is really bad when I'm lying down. Of course, given my risk of pulmonary embolism, coughing sets off my thromboneurosis, but I really think it's just a cold. (But WTF? A cold in the middle of the summer?) Anyway, I worked from home all morning and went to PT in the early afternoon. I was surprised how good I felt when I got there, plus everyone else (PTs, PTAs, PT aides) seemed to be in a really good mood, perhaps because it's Friday.
I rode the bike for six minutes, with resistance, and it was sooo tiring for my poor, pathetic, weak legs, but it felt pretty good. Then I did my standing up exercises and some stretching, and they also felt pretty good. Stair exercises - good. Balancing exercise - good. My left hip actually feels pretty good; it is my right hip that hurts more now. But that's okay, it should hurt, right? And it still feels way better than it did before the surgery. And as AJ pointed out, it's normal that my right hip is sore - I just had surgery on it five weeks ago and am just getting back into walking again. So it's not like my right leg and left hip, which should really not be hurting. And the pain isn't awful or anything; in fact, I actually managed to walk across the entire room without limping, which seemed to genuinely impress AJ.
So...... yay.
Here's the sort of funny thing. I mentioned my bleeding to AJ the other day amidst my hysterics. In my normal state, I would have probably been too embarrassed to say anything, but my mental state was anything but normal on Tuesday. Plus, yeah, he's a guy and all, and not one of my very favorites in the world, lol, but he has a wife and three kids, so I'm sure he knows a few things about female parts. So today, we had a conversation that went something like this.
Him: So I talked to one of our nurse practitioners about your, uh, other problem.
Me: Mmmm, yeah?
Him: She was actually familiar with your case.
Me: Oh man, was I that bad?
Him (sheepishly): She thinks you really need to go see an OB. Besides, at your age and being a mom and all, you really should have one anyway.
Me: Mmmm, yeah, okay.
LOL
We were having this conversation as I was standing on the balance board, and it wasn't exactly private. Not that I care that much, because nothing is private in this PT place, so obviously if I were that sensitive about it, I wouldn't have brought it up in the first place.
BUT THEN, in the middle of it, I saw my orthopedist in the doorway. I immediately looked away and stared at the floor because I sooooo did not want to see him, nor did I want him to see me. I figured it was possible he was just walking by, although admittedly, in almost five weeks of PT, I have never seen him 'just walk by' before. So he walked in and tried to act all casual, saying something like, 'Hey! I just thought I'd pop in and say hi.' Yeah... riiiiiight. (OMG, he was totally checking up on me! And probably doing some CYA by trying show me some love. Either way - sooooo embarrassing!) I kept staring at the floor while holding totally still on the balance board, as if that might prevent him from seeing me. Unfortunately, he came straight over to me, and actually complimented me on my balancing skills. Ha. Then he asked how I was doing. I mumbled something along the lines of 'fine,' still without looking at him. Finally AJ jumped to the rescue.
AJ: She's doing very well functionally, but she isn't feeling that great. (To me) Is that about right?
Me: Mmmmm, yeah.
AJ: She's a little freaked out.
Doc: I know, but you're on medication now, so it's going to be okay. We'll get this taken care of.
Me: Mmmmm, yeah. (Dude, you sound like Tony Soprano, who gets things 'taken care of.' LOL)
AJ: Did you want to talk to him about your other problem?
I had no words at that point, but I just about died on the spot. So I just looked down at the floor harder, if that is even possible, and shook my head vigorously. I couldn't even find my voice enough to say, 'No, thank you.' So much for my teaching persona!
AJ: Oh, okay.
Doc: Okay, well, I was just stopping in to see how things were going... Bye.
And he raced off.
After he left, I told AJ, 'He knows about my problem. He can't deal with it; he's a young, male, orthopedist.'
AJ (sheepishly): Oh... sorry!
Ha ha ha, I know AJ was just trying to be helpful, and in retrospect it's sort of amusing. I wonder how my doctor made it through the OB/GYN rotation in med school.
Anyway, after that little debacle, AJ did some massage on my hip, and it was amazing. I usually prefer the hard core deep tissue massage as far as massage goes, and AJ is extremely gentle, which doesn't usually do much for me. But today he somehow managed to find knots and tender spots that he worked on, and it was actually extremely helpful.
Afterwards, I iced my hip, and while I was icing, one of the PT aides came over to talk to me. She is adorable and super sweet (and is one of the people who is praying for me :)). She told me she had had a birthday that week - which I knew because I was at PT on her actual birthday, and she was telling everyone, lol. So I asked her old she was and she said 22, which was about what I would have guessed because it seems like she just graduated from college, and she had talked to me before about some additional biology courses she would need to apply to PT school (unfortunately I don't teach any of them). I said that I remembered being 22 and it was a very fun time of my life (although thinking back, 22 actually sucked, but 23 and 24 were a lot of fun... oh well). She replied, 'What was that, like, 5 years ago?' HA HA! I informed her that I was 39 and she declared, with genuine surprise, 'WOW! I hope I look like you when I'm 39!' Then she said, 'Can I ask you something?' and sort of leaned in so the whole room didn't hear our conversation. 'What do you do for exercise? You seem really fit for someone who's 39.' She said 39 as if it were practically the same as, like, 60 or 70. LOL. At that point, I could have about died laughing. Hello! I am lying on a table icing my hip, recovering from hip surgery, I have a giant blood clot in my leg, and I just got winded walking across the room! It was as if, at the fresh, young age of 22, 39 seems so old that a 39-year-old who is able to recover from hip surgery and walk normally again 'seems really fit.' It brought me back to my first visit to the orthopedist about my hip problems when I was around her age. I didn't think twice when he told me I was going to need a double hip replacement by the age of 30, because 30 seemed so far away I just figured... whatever. Regardless, she was very genuine and said it so innocently, it just made my day... no matter how misguided she was. It was a much needed dose of unintentional humor.
I left walking sooo much better than I've been able to walk in, like, forever, and that was a really great feeling. Not bad for a 39-year-old. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment