Oh that awesome feeling when you can't stop crying. It has been an entire week since I last experienced this, so I guess a good cry is due. LOL. I honestly don't know if it's even my hip/DVT or intense work stress that I should write about on my other blog. So many different aspects of my life are colliding at this point that it's impossible to separate them out. In the end, I am left with material not fit for either blog, not fit to be made public.
I will say this much: I feel like I had a disaster of a time last semester. There was/is a lot going on, so I can't blame it all or even most of it on my hip pain. However, in retrospect I realize that my hip pain certainly didn't help, and in fact the pain made my already ridiculously poor ability to deal with stress even worse. My stress management skills went from F to F-. I really thought having the surgery would reverse my downward spiral (I keep thinking of an extinction vortex, to make a biology analogy), and given how great I felt so soon after surgery, it is hard for me to accept where I am right now. If I do not manage to pull myself together very soon, I am in for a disastrous semester, and I really can't afford that professionally.
I am doing everything I can to get better physically, but there is no miracle cure for my present condition. I am also trying to be positive, but that is something I've always struggled with, and I know for a fact that there is no miracle cure for my mental distress. I guess all that is left to do is try to stay in the present.
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